Down the Rabbit Hole: Part 2 - Holly Wilson

     A little introduction is needed for this blog. Last year I began my first ever keener session off with a blog post all about the surprising insanity of this lovely program. If you have not read that post and would like a better understanding of where this continuation is going, here is a link: http://okskeeners.blogspot.ca/2015/07/down-rabbit-hole-holly-wilson.html.

     Here I am back at keeners for another year, this time I am lucky enough (and extremely grateful) to be doing two sessions in a row. The drive to Beachburg from where I live is approximately 6-7 hours depending on traffic and how well you listen to the road signs .The further along the road my father and I drove the higher my expectations rose. I recalled all the crazy things that had ensued last year; including, but not limited to, building our own ramp, swimming the boof, and an endless supply of inside jokes. Last year was fantastic and I was more than stoked to be going back, which was quite obvious to my father as I would not shut up about stories from before that I had most likely already told him all about. The craziness would live on this session.


Kate Rowan from session 2 2015, my session
   
     Or so I thought... First day back on the water and I can thoroughly say that only one word could describe the day: disappointment. I kept telling myself "I should be happy, this place is basically heaven on Earth!" but I couldn't ignore the fact that I didn't feel happy. At the time I didn't know if it was the fact that I'm going to be away from home for six weeks hitting me, if it was the fact that I sucked at kayaking more than I thought or if it was just one of those days. I thought about it that night, longer than I probably should of, but I finally came to a conclusion. Although those few things did play a factor in my unhappiness, I realized it was my expectations.

     All I thought about was "last year this" and "last year that" when I should have been focused on this year and the new people and experiences. I was so set to top last year that I was stuck comparing this year to last year, even though it was just the first day! It's not the people, or the kayaking, or the being away from home. It is my mind set. The one thing (other than a roll) that will let you accomplish anything on and off the water is your mind set.

     Once my mind set had changed I saw things in a different way. I realized all the crazy was here, just in a new way. I had to accept the fact that these weren't the same people I was with last year. Even the returning keeners from my session weren't the same as a year had passed, which usually changes people. With the change of mindset off the water my mind began to change on the water and I began to gain something I lacked to try new tricks. It was Clay who had given it a name for me: confidence. So by the end of today the one thing I could think coming back from the river was "back down the rabbit hole we go". Maybe the insanity legacy that keeners holds in my mind will live on.