Stephen's Magical Adventure by Holden Harrell

It was Tuesday afternoon, and Stephen decided that he should get a group together and hike instead of paddling to the big surf wave, Garborator. Looking at satellite images, it seemed much faster and more efficient to just walk compared to the almost one-mile paddle. So, with some other friends from Keeners, I decided to tag along for what seemed like a fun adventure. We started with about five of us and walked down the gravel road by White House and into the woods. The second I stepped off the gravel road, I knew this was going to be a long, hard walk. The forest was thick. We were hiking over fallen trees, around huge boulders, and through things that you definitely wouldn’t want to hike through. We finally reached an opening with water. Everyone was super excited and happy to be out there, and we all realized that we were actually having fun. Type 2 fun, as they say. We then all got into the water and paddled over to Garborator.

A Day for Improvement by John Wagner

I despise Mondays more than any other day, it’s the day where you have to get up in the morning. Even if that activity is kayaking that’s not a pleasant experience at all, but this Monday just felt different. I got up feeling good in a way I can’t describe, rested but not drowsy, like I had woken up before and was just waiting to get up, to get on the water. As soon as I did the improvements started coming. First I started bow stalling much longer than I had before and much more balanced. Which may have gotten in the way of more important skills but it felt good. Unfortunately trying to learn to loop in flat water didn’t work out so great, I just fell on my face a lot, but I did get much much closer to getting it on baby face later in the day. I just have to work on my loop stroke and I’ll have it. It would be too much to get it all in one day, but I’m going to keep working on it for the rest of the week and then if I still can’t. The rest of the session.

Stephen's Magical Adventure (Bushwhack) Through the Woods by Jackson Lilly

This Monday, after having lunch at Keenerville Stephen proposed the option to go with him and David on an adventure into the woods to find a shortcut getting to the Lorne. This shortcut would include cutting through a larger sort of peninsula of forest to get to the other side, where it would be a more straight shot to the lorn. Seven of us decided to go on the hike with Stephen and David and as soon as it started we knew we'd be in for something very fun or pretty terrible. The first part of the hike included lots of poison ivy, one thorn bush, and a couple downed trees from a tornado that we had to climb over. We would then continue en route until we ran into a wall of bushes or trees. We had to turn back slightly and find another route. We would then go by a tree and by a stump where, unbeknownst to me, there was a hole but it was covered up by leaves and debris and stuff, which I fell into, which was not pleasant. Then after going through a swamp and more poison ivy and more down logs, we would make it out the other side into a bog, where we were able to paddle out and reconnect with the rest of the group. Overall it was a lot of type two fun. Would I do it again? Probably not, but I suppose Stephen will do it again in five years with the next Keeners.

The New Ted Lasso Season by Jack Flemming

The new Ted Lasso Season came out this week while I am at Keeners. Even worse, Rowan and some other people started watching it on his relative’s Apple TV account. I really wanted to watch it, but I didn’t. This was because I had watched all of the other episodes with my family two years ago when the first three seasons came out. When I thought back to the many hours we had dedicated to watching all three seasons of the show, I couldn’t bring myself to continue on without them. Later that night, when I called my parents, we chatted about our mutual desire to finish the show, prompting us to agree to wait until we were back together to do so. Now, as I finish my last half of Keeners, it is my mission, as Stephen would say, to uphold our agreement so that I can enjoy the satisfaction of watching it at home.

Pro Tip - Always Check your Gear Before Surfing Garb by Saul Glick

Usually at Keeners, your first few days are full of settling in, getting to know people, and getting gear ready for the weeks ahead. However, I missed most of my first week, meaning that my first day would be, “Funky Fresh Freestyle Friday!!” in Stephen’s words. In other words, I was jumping right into a lot of paddling on my very first day. My day started very well, I landed some roundhouses and a blunt! But, I had made one fatal flaw that would cost me a lot of swimming that afternoon; not checking my gear with the coaches that morning. My skirt ended up imploding twice in a row, causing my entire group to spend their afternoon chasing me, my gear, and my boat around the Lorne. And wow did I swim a lot that afternoon. In the end, I did my two runs on push button and definitely snit a bit out of disappointment that I couldn’t surf garb.

Beatdown Thursday by Will Schwarzschild

Beat down Thursday is a very special day for all keeners. Beat down Thursday is where everyone goes into big holes and try’s to surf them. It’s really fun because it’s a great bonding experience for all of the keeners. Most surfs are recorded and we watch them later. The video are really fun to watch and everyone enjoys these videos watching moments. Some times peoples skirts implode and they swim. When people swim we have to save them and their gear such as boats and paddles.

Keener Scrolling Addiction by Kam Weiss

Even though I have only been attending keeners for less than a week, it has already been made clear to me that there is a major epidemic in a popular modern teenage pastime - “scrolling.” Even though it seems to be a harmless activity, similar to the effects of watching TV, scrolling’s short-form based content has insidious consequences effects, especially in the realm of chores around the cabin. The hypnotic allure of scrolling makes keeners walk from their dish-washing duties to the comfortable leather couch, leaving other cabin mates to assume their abandoned responsibilities. Now that we understand the adverse effects of the epidemic, it is important (as scientists) to look into how scrolling happens: via tiktok and instagram. Users mainly use their thumbs in a down swiping motion in order to skip past a video that is undesirable or uninteresting. Normally, each video ranges from 30 seconds to a minute and a half, however, in my studies, i have seen videos that are less than 5 seconds. Another interesting difference in scrolling compared to watching normal television is its vertical format. Instead of a more default landscape type view, scrolling uses a vertical format so users are able to ergonomically hold their phone and still be able to consume entertainment. But what makes scrolling different from normal television? It’s ergonomic viewing style? Its ability to skip past undesirable content? It’s short form nature? As an esteemed researcher like myself, it is necessary to realize that all factors play apart in this epidemic, and even after this immense research, I still have not come to an appropriate conclusion on how to remove scrolling and make keeners do chores, I may be able to continue on this topic in a further article. I also wrote this article in half an hour and Will scrolled the entire time right next to me on full volume which was pretty ironic.