Baby Blog by Keener Baby

ghv/zZDFCX

River Trip by Otto Koerber

Becca came in to wake us up in the morning. It was so early that I found myself stumbling to the bus. The bus took us to breakfast at WT which was really good and definitely the biggest breakfast I’ve had in years. It is a shame that we don’t get breakfast at WT normally. After breakfast we got back on the bus for about 1 minute as we quickly split into two mini vans that we used to drive on the hilly gravel roads with the trailer full of kayaks. We drove for well over 2 hours which was dreadful as my phone died 15 minutes in. The vans were also hot as the engine heat radiated into the cabin area. After the long drive, we jumped out of the mini vans, and started unloading the kayaks. As we unloaded the final few, we realized that our journey to the river was far from over. As the depressing ran started to pick up, we slowly moved ourselves to the put in. The misquotes swarmed us despite us putting on bug spray. Every step was more painful than the last. Once our eyes saw the appearance of what looked like the put in, the irritating hike quickly faded away.

How to Get to Keeners from Alexandra, New Zealand by Will Gillespie

Step 1. Drive 1 hrs and 10 mins from Alexandra to Queenstown Airport. Step 2. Get on a plane and fly 2hrs to Auckland Airport. Step 3. Wait in Auckland Airport for 2hr and 10mins. Step 4. Get on a plane and fly for 13 hrs and 50 min to Vancouver Airport. Step 5. Wait in Vancouver Airport for 11 hrs and 40 mins Step 6. Fly 15 hrs and 19 mins to Ottawa Airport. Step 7. Drive 1 hrs and 30 mins to Wilderness Tours. Step 8. Get on a bus at Wilderness Tours and drive 15 mins to Keenervile. Step 9. Have a great time at Keeners

How to Clean your Water Bottle by Evan Cassidy

This weekend I found something I grabbed my reusable water bottle that had been sitting in my room for a while, opened it up, and saw little spots of mold inside. It was pretty gross, and I knew I wasn’t drinking out of it until it was completely clean. First, I dumped out the old water and rinsed the bottle with hot water. Then I filled it with warm water and dish soap and used a sponge and a butter knife to scrub the inside. I made sure to get all the way to the bottom and around the sides where the mold was. After scrubbing, with warm water for about 10 minutes to help kill any leftover mold. When it was done soaking, I rinsed everything really well with hot water and let all the pieces air dry before putting the bottle back in my boat . The whole process didn’t take very long, but it reminded me that it’s important to wash reusable water bottles regularly instead of letting them sit. But at least now I have a clean bottle that’s safe to use again.

How to Get More Comfortable During Beatdowns by Kyan Vigoda

Last session and at the beginning of this session I was really afraid of beatdowns and running big rapids like coliseum with no easy sneak lines, but eventually I learned to have fun and forget about my fear using the following tricks I learned. 1: Downtime. On one of the days when returning keeners were not doing srt, David and Aaron took us to brain doosh at the bottom of butchers knife to practice getting downtime. Jumping into the pour over knowing we would go underwater for a long time helped me stay comfortable when running out of breath or having no control of when you come out of the water. This really helped me with beatdowns. 2: Nose plugs. This does not have to be specifically nose plugs, it can be anything that helps you feel more secure and safe. For example, when I play rugby I bite my mouth guard really hard as it helps me feel safer and gives me more power. When I kayak, I squeeze my nose plugs really tight and am constantly adjusting them before entering rapids. All the videos of myself you can always see me holding and fidgeting with my nose plugs. This might not make sense but they help me feel stronger and safer. You could use anything like sunglasses for example. 3: Smile. When underwater in Phil’s, I try to smile. This has many purposes; it’s really helpful. First, it helps me remember to have fun and enjoy myself, which really helps me stay calm. Second, it reminds me that there are plenty of safety kayakers below and that the Ottawa is a really fun and safe river and Stevo and the other coaches would not let us in if it was dangerous. Third, I remember to hold my paddle in the auto roll position Stevo taught us and how to control my boat. This works because when I smile it reduces my fear and lets me concentrate on kayaking. All these are my ways of staying calm and always being stoked on the river. I hope they help you as well.

Adaptation of a WaveHopper for Subsurface Use by Holden Constantino

One major problem with kayaks is that they float. It is very difficult to go deep underwater in a kayak. Fortunately, however, it is fairly easy to adapt a kayak to underwater use. We will use a WaveHopper, because they are large, look cool, and are especially hydrodynamic. For those sadly unfamiliar, WaveHoppers are the greatest boats ever. They are long, with a keel and two wings behind the cockpit. Because of this, they are very fast. The first step in our adaptation is to place two large bladders in the extreme fore and aft. These will be ballast tanks, and can fill with water. We will also place two bladders in the wings, for stability control. Having done this, we place batteries in the stern, and air tanks in the bow. The bow air tanks provide oxygen for the pilot, and also expel water from the ballast tanks. The bow and stern sections are also sealed off from the water. A respirator and hose is placed in the cockpit for the pilot. The cockpit is not enclosed. Also found in the cockpit are the controls. Finally, two vectored, ducted propellers are placed at the stern for propulsion, and eight smaller thrusters are mounted at the fore and aft for attitude control. These improvements will make it far easier to explore the bottom of the Ottawa, and indeed, will make submarining even more fun.

Gavin's by Nora Crabb

“Elevator shaft” is the far river right line down the big scary rapid “Garvins”. My first day here at keeners, we walked around garvins and looked at both “elevator shaft” and “dragons tongue”. The first day, I looked at the rapid and my first thought was that there was no way ever I was going to run that rapid. I kept that mindset for the whole next week, until we were given the choice to run dragons tongue. Right off the bat I knew there was no way I was going to run it and I was 100% set on that. As people went, I watched everyone and saw how they and started to think I would maybe run it. After everyone had gone, Becca talked me into it and told me I would be okay. I decided to run it and I had such a clean and perfect line, and it was amazing. The way I felt after was such an amazing feeling of relief and joy. Elevator shaft, was a little bit of a different experience. I was less nervous going into it and watched everyone else go before me with pretty clean lines and casually flipping at the bottom. When it came time for my turn, I went down the top part almost flipping, but not, thankfully. And rode down the rest fine until the end where everyone else flipped. I flipped as well landing right onto a rock shelf and scraping up my shoulder while upside down. I missed a roll up and Eli hand of God rescued me at the bottom. Even though I bloodied up my shoulder, I still had that sense of relief and excitement that I’d run the rapid, even if I didn’t do it extremely cleanly.

The Best Keener Day Ever by Callan Fox

Every day at Keeners is amazing in its own way. Whether it’s surfing Angel’s Kiss, running Garvin’s, or just swimming in a giant inflatable pool with your friends on the weekend, there is so much fun to be have all around the Ottawa and beyond. However, I think for me yesterday was the best Keener day ever because I was so stoked the entire day. We began by hyping ourselves up with music before the river and surfing Odyssey, which didn’t go particularly well but was still super fun. We ended up goofing around on the flatwater paddle, which is always a good time. Then, we split up into two groups for the Lorne. That was when I knew something was going to be up, and it was going to be big and fun. I did not know quite what it was until we were standing up on the island staring at some of the biggest holes I’d ever seen: Minibus and Big Bus. There was no doubt that I was nervous, but after watching Stephen flawlessly through a blunt on the shoulder I knew it was a must. I was going to surf Minibus. Soon, I was in the eddy, paddle in hand, watching as Stephen gave the “go” signal as he eagerly cheered with his camera. I was so stoked once again, with a huge smile plastered on my face as I caught the big wave-hole and surfed around for a while. Although I did roll up missing a piece of my beloved Pit Vipers, all I could think was how that was the best time of my life. Naturally, I proceeded to do it two more times and have even more fun. The rest of the day was no let down. We surfed Waikiki for a while and I got a few new tricks along with other fun ones I already knew. My boof finally felt solid as I launched off of high-water Anvil Falls, and, to top it all off, I got to surf the Big Kahuna for the first time. Evening came, and I baked cookies for Yakistan and friends who asked and finished with diaper water polo, courtesy of Becca of course. My team won, but I think everyone had an equally amazing time hanging out and lunging balls into playboats. All in all, I think yesterday couldn’t have gone any better and that it was the perfect Keener day, all because I just had a big smile on my face the whole time.

How to Surf Minibus by Jacob Zivony

If you were ever wondering how to surf minibus when it wasn’t in I can help you. Yesterday we surfed minibus when it was a big foamy mess and it was sick! Step 1: stare at minibus from river left side of the lorn and question your life decisions. Step 2: walk your boat to the put in Eddie and question why you are about to huck yourself in to a big foamy hole 3 times the size of Phil’s. Step 3: ferry out and keep ferrying right even though it feels like you are about to go straight in to bus eater. Step 4: ferry right a little more and then turn around backwards and face slightly left. Step 5: fall back in to the black hole of foam that mini bus is and enjoy the second or two when you are completely engulfed in foam but still somehow completely upright. Step 6: be completely shocked that you are actually surfing minibus right now but don’t let your body completely tense up and let it surf you out even though it’s really easy to let it do that. Congratulations you have just surfed minibus or rather minibus surfed you. Do with this information as you will, just always remember to have two keeners in the bottom left Eddy that are rescue ready if something goes wrong. Triple yay!

On the Eloquence of Words by Jackson Gratz

Words are the basic structure of most human languages and a simple way to enhance comprehension of the communication of complex concepts. Used indifferently throughout our everyday experiences, words allow us to complete many daily tasks. With simple suffixes attached to a multitude of sentences, humans can effectively articulate their ideas without excessive effort. Furthermore, the ubiquity of words extends beyond mere utilitarian function, they serve as the conduit through which abstract thought is transmuted into tangible, shareable meaning. Without this lexical infrastructure, the intricate cognitive processes occurring within the human mind would remain perpetually inaccessible to others, trapped in a state of abject unexpressed potentials. Words facilitate not only the transmission of information but also the nuanced conveyance of emotion, intention, and experience. Therefore enabling interpersonal connection on a profound level. Moreover, the versatility of vocabulary allows for remarkable precision when precision is warranted, while simultaneously accommodating ambiguity when circumstances necessitate a more flexible or diplomatic approach. This adaptability shows the sophistication inherent in linguistic language, which have evolved to accommodate the multiple requirements of human communication across countless contexts and cultures. In conclusion, words are virtually ubiquitous with everyday existence and are used often, permeating every aspect of human interaction. Their presence is not coincidental but rather a testament to their indispensable role in constructing the shared reality that binds communities and civilizations coherently.

How to Run the Main Channel by Ben Hartley

1. leave keener village 2. Do flat water moves 3. Do more flat water 4. Do more flat water 5. Run the Lorne 6. Surf at waikiki 7. Do cool stuff at waikiki 8. Do a kick flip in the next wave train 9. Do a loop in that one eddy 10. Go into the world pools 11. Do more kick flips on the next rapids 12. Go down coliseum 13. Go down flat water till you get to WT

Taking a Break by Cian Bergin

The most important thing about keeners is having fun in order to do that though. Sometimes you have to take a break this week. My shoulders really hurt me. I didn’t want to take a break. I didn’t wanna stop doing what I was doing and stop trying to improve my kick flips and stuff like that however continuing to do so would just continue to make my shoulder worse, so I’m here to talk about how to take a break. Taking a break doesn’t mean you have to stop kayaking. It just means that you should take it easy for a couple days maybe stop doing stuff that could hurt you like kick flips getting beat down and any stuff like that. This proved to be pretty challenging for me because I wanted to keep improving and make the most out of my time at keeners, however I realized that in order to do that I needed to be the best possible me that I could be

The Odyssey by Charlie Woodward

Like the name suggests, initiation was the very first rapid we got to play in during keeners session 1 2026. We got to run down it and play in the features at the bottom of the rapid. One of those features named Odyssey gave us fresh keeners a glimpse into the many violent beatdowns they had in store. Odyssey isn’t an incredibly violent feature, it’s great for all types of tricks like cartwheels and spins but will retain you for one or two tumbles. I personally have face surfed this feature a number of times. When the water level goes down initiation gets really shallow and kind of scary. Of you don’t eddy out before odyssey you will be getting back endered and beat. If this happens to you expect a headshot to come along with it. We’ve also done races down initiation which always turn out to be a ton of fun.

Jacob vs. Ramen by Owen Hartley

Jacob’s first encounter with semi-spicy ramen went very differently from most people’s. Instead of enjoying the nice, subtle tang of spice, Jacob had to chug milk and give the rest of his ramen away. After that, Silky decided that Jacob should try some of his extra-spicy ramen, which still wasn’t all that spicy. Silky prepared the ramen, and Jacob hesitantly ate a single noodle. As soon as he swallowed it, Jacob immediately started yelling and ran to Robertson’s trash can to throw up. Afterward, he sprinted to Yakistan to beg for cake and milk. They gave him some milk, which he promptly chugged on their porch. In summary, Silky says that Jacob’s complete lack of spice tolerance is a sign that he simply hasn’t been through enough trauma in his life.

Youtube Videos by Eric Jackson's Son by Tyler Goldstein

I thought when I arrived at keeners I would watch a lot of kayaking on the thunder dome television. But I did not imagine that I could get sick of looking at the bright pink bow of the Jackson kayak famously paddled by Eric Jackson’s son. The first time we watched anything on the tv it was kayaking. I was stoked because I love watching kayaking. Videos of the stikene, the Rio Claro, play boating, creek boating, or really anything that has to do with kayaking. But as the days went on, I only saw that pink bow. His gnar, his clutch, his carbon dreamboat made by this sick super tall guy named Stephen Wright. My eyes began to burn. I simply could not look at another pink Jackson kayaks again. AND THEN I REMEMBERED - I HAVE A PINK JACKSON GNARVANA AT HOME

Ranking the Top Five Waves in My First Session on the Ottawa by Zander Capozzi

Ranking the Top Five Waves from My First Session on the Ottawa 5th Place: Right Side Horseshoe You can loop it, throw some pretty fun tricks, and it's a really good wave. It's a great place to warm up and have fun. 4th Place: Butcher's Knife An incredible wave, although it's really annoying to catch and usually requires you to hike back up afterward. That said, it's super bouncy, has great loops, and you could probably even throw an air screw on it. 3rd Place: Waikiki (not sure if that's the correct spelling) Bouncy, fast, and everything you could possibly want in a wave. It's just an all-around blast to paddle. 2nd Place: Three-and-a-Half-Foot Corner Wave An incredible wave, and the only one I've landed an air screw on so far, so it's absolutely legendary in my books. It's great for blunts, back loops, loops, and almost any other trick you can imagine. The only downside is the eddy access. Other than that, it's an awesome wave, although it's a little smaller than my first-place pick. 1st Place: Big Kahuna The one. The only. Big Kahuna. The bounciest wave on the river, the fastest, and the closest thing you'll get to riding a stakeout wave. It's incredible—very scary, very fast, and very, very big. Its biggest flaw is that there's no easy way to catch the eddy after riding it, so you'll most likely have to hike back up for another lap. But other than that, it's beyond superlative. One of the most awesome, awesome-sauce waves imaginable.

Why Facing Your Fears at Keeners is Important by Sila Griffin

While facing your fears in general is an important thing to practice, at Keeners is it crucial. It is so crucial because to progress in this program I had to push my self out of my comfort zone every single day in order to both get better at kayaking and grow as a person. Our first day on the water this session seemed incredibly huge and scary to me and the rapids were a lot bigger than anything I had ever run before so I was really nervous. However, I convinced myself to not walk anything and I am forever grateful that I made that choice. By pushing myself out of my comfort zone and running scary, but safe rapids in a safe, controlled environment, I progressed a lot in both skill and confidence. What seemed huge and scary the first day gets less and less terrifying every single time I run it, my whole perspective on what is “sketchy” has changed dramatically. Keeners builds a perfect environment of both support if you choose not to run a rapid but also encouragement if you choose to run it, letting Keeners do challenge by choice. While it is a choice whether to push out of yourself out of your comfort zone, it is important to choose to do so. Over the last two weeks that I have gotten the privilege to spend at the Keener program, I realized that you get out of it what you put in. The more a Keener pushes themselves throughout the three weeks the more they progress as both a kayaker and a young adult.

Corner Wave by Zander Capozzi

Corner wave is one of the most interesting waves of the river. It’s bouncy it’s fun, but it’s also extremely diagonal which leads to constant issues of staying on it retaining tricks. One moment is this the best way on the river easy to catch easy to ride and you can land every trick, the next nothing. Making one of the most dynamic and interesting waves on the river and one of the most fun. With waves ranging from easy to incredibly difficult to catch and from easy to throw to easily one of the hardest to throw on. Corner wave sit squarely in the middle a middle ground of fun and awesomeness at about 4 foot.

New Line on the Block by Jackson Gratz

As many a keener knows, Garvens is one of the more technical and challenging rapids on the Ottowa. With lots of line choices across various difficulties, theres no wonder why it’s become a fan favorite. Many have tried to come up with new lines in the past, but one recent take on Dragons Tongue has all the keeners talking. The newly dubbed “Frenchie Line” named by Lucas Rodrig, is not one for the faint of heart. By being inside the curler and going exactly where Stephen Wright said not to go, you too can run this line. Unfortunately, this curler leads the non-boofing intrepid paddler into a plug that can make a boat disappear for a few seconds, and could potentially push you into the cave under Dragons Tongue. This probably won’t happen so you should run it with Stephen’s ok. P.S. don’t run this line on your head, it would probably hurt.

The Dangers of Walmart by Jacob Zivony

When I came to keeners, I was expecting to be underfed because I’m kayaking all the time and I would have an insatiable appetite, and I was… until I went to Walmart. When we first went to Walmart I was certainly not expecting to spend much. Becca gave us 20 minutes inside the store so we were rushing. When we first went in it was like on of those videos of shoppers in Black Friday in like 2005. We were rushing to put everything we could in our cart. I did not think that the total would add up to 92 CAD. After I checked out we had to take our stuff back in the bus and that thing was NOT equipped to handle all our precious cargo. After we got back while keeping all our food under our feet and in our laps we sorted it out and completely filled all our food storage and even had it overflow in to Istanbul. The next day I had a BIG breakfast, and I mean BIG. I had so many eggos and muffins I was going to throw up. I ended up being not hungry for like 3 days after Walmart because I ate so much food. If you’re an incoming keener beware of the Walmart deception because you might just end up unable to eat anything after.

How to Have a Perfect Walmart Run by Bennett Whalen

To have a successful Walmart run you will need to think ahead. There is twenty minutes were you need to find everything you will need for the next two weeks. After you know what you want when arriving you need to go to the most important thing on your list of items, then go down to the least important. Now that you have everything go to the self checkout to avoid the lines. Scan your items and make sure your card doesn’t decline. Now get back to the front door with with one minute to spare. That is how you do a successful Walmart run.

A Keener's Daily Routine by Owen Hartley

First, wake up at 7:45. Second, do a fun morning activity. Third, return to your cabin and make breakfast. Fourth, clean the dishes, bathrooms, bedrooms, and common areas. Fifth, go to the Thunderdome for a briefing on the day's activities. Sixth, get dressed and ready for kayaking. Seventh, slide down the hill into the lake with your kayak. Eighth, do a quick warm-up and skill session on the lake. Ninth, start paddling down the river. Tenth, stop for lunch at a nice rocky beach. Eleventh, devour your lunch and drink plenty of water. Twelfth, continue paddling down the river and have a great time. Thirteenth, take out at the bottom of the river and load the trailer. Fourteenth, drive to Keenerville and get dressed for dinner. Fifteenth, go to dinner and enjoy your meal. Sixteenth, play volleyball, then head back to Keenerville. Seventeenth, participate in a fun evening activity. Finally, get a nice, long night's rest

Keenervision by Charlie Woodward

The thunderdome tv is one of the most divisive objects in all of keenerville, some might say in Ontario as a whole. Keeners spend quite a bit of time in the thunderdome after their long days of paddling on the Ottawa and often use the tv as a way to wind down. The problem is, there are 20 keeners in 2026 session 1 and only one tv, now I’m sure you can see how this could be a problem. Some keeners want to watch kayaking movies and clips while others want to watch a movie or show during that time and often little conflicts arise because of the disagreement. The ironic bit about it is that when something to watch is put on 90% of the group ends up scrolling on their phones through the whole thing anyways. Makes it seem a little bit pointless but in the grand scheme of things it doesn’t really matter.

White House by Kyan Vigoda

I have been in White House for two years in the top bunk of the first room. There are three rooms down the hallway, the first being on the left, the second on the right, and the third on the left. The bathroom is at the end of the hallway. When you enter through the main doorway, there are 3 couches on the left facing the tv, and a kitchen on the far war next to the fridge on the right. The other door exits into the storage room, which is off limits, that has a convenient exit to the field in front of White House for morning activity or to make it on time to the bus. Last year our hot water smelled like sulfur but this has been fixed this year. A lot of people like to hang their hammocks in front of the porch as well, and they usually let me use them.

Trip to Town by Tyler Goldstein

On the second Tuesday of keeners we took a big trip to Renfrew. All twenty keeners plus Sofia, stevo’s nanny, Becca, Aaron, David, and Chantelle packed into the kayaking bus and drove to town. Once we arrived in the small Canadian town of Renfrew we split into to groups: one went to Walmart and one went to A and W. I was in the Walmart group. Charlie and I got a bunch of chips, ramen, and other snacks for the last week and a half at Keenerville. After we swapped and got food at the restaurant. Our next stop was the movie theater. We watched a movie called disclosure day. It is a speilburg movie about aliens 👽 which was odd to say the least. There was a tornado and the power turned off in the middle. On the way back to keenerville, we ran over a tree and it was a pretty good night.

Why Yakistan Always has the Best Breakfast by Callan Fox

Being a girl at Keeners is definitely a slightly different experience than being a boy. This session, I am one of only two official female Keeners, plus we have Sofia (who is nannying for Baby but living with us in Yakistan). Although we are the overwhelming minority, we have the advantage of a calm kitchen with an abundance of food. We have certainly utilized this privilege. We collectively decided that we need to make the most gourmet and original foods possible. This started with delicious chocolate chip pancakes with eggs and bacon, but quickly progressed into extremely thin brownies due the lack of baking pans in our small kitchen and a veggie and chicken scramble. Soon, everyone realized how much we were excelling in our kitchen and started contacting us privately to devour some of our creations. Whether it was eggs, crepes adorned with berries, or freshly made pasta, we began pawning off some of our sacred creations for new ingredients. The other day, we went to Walmart to up our cooking game. So, we bought an abundance of food (and even more Red Bull) to make new creations like my chocolate covered cake balls and ramen with eggs. All in all, Yakistan had and will always have the best food because it has the most care with the least chaos.

How to Make the Best Keener Breakfast by Nora Crabb

Yakistan does very very good at breakfast time. Callan and I work very well at collaborating in the kitchen and coming up with new ideas for fantastic breakfasts. My favorite breakfast yet, has been when we make our signature Reese’s peanut butter cup, chocolate chip pancakes. I’ll do a quick step by step on how to make them. #1 put pancake mix into a bowl #2 add water as needed #3 add the chocolate chips (preferably a lot) #4 cook 4 plain chocolate chip pancakes for Sofia cause she doesn’t like peanut butter…. (Somehow) #5 add a ton of mini peanut butter cups to the remaining pancake mix #6 cook 4 more BIG pancakes with the better batter (During all this, callan is cooking an amazing egg scramble) #7 put your pancakes on the plate and spread Nutella on them #8 ENJOY THE BEST BREAKFAST EVER!

Days at Wilderness Tours by Cian Bergin

The day starts at 7:30 in the morning when Aaron wakes me up. I sit up and get ready for my day. I eat eggs and toast while thinking about what i could be doing today. I am going to be shadowing a raft guide for the first time and i am excited to see what it is like to work for Wilderness Tours. At 8:30 joe pulls in to the driveway i hope in the car and we are off. He drops me off at the put in for the day. I hoped on a raft with a guide named Jackson. We paddled down the middle channel I learned a lot about rafting and how to guide rafting is very team oriented. I finished off my day working at the put in loading and unloading boats along with doing boat repairs. I am very grateful to have had this experience and had a wonderful time.

Breakfast by Lucas Rodrigue

I think the best way to make breakfast if you only have 2 eggs and 2 toast is to first put the toast in the toaster. Then you crack the eggs in a pan and cook them. I like scrambled eggs because there easy to make and they taste good. While the eggs are cooking the toast will probably be done. Then you can put some butter on the toast if you have any. After that you put the eggs on the toast or eat them on the side. It dont take very long and its really easy. Even if you dont have alot of food its still a good breakfast because eggs got protein and toast gives you energy. I would eat this before school because it fills you up and its better then skipping breakfast. I think this is the best breakfast you can make with only 2 eggs and 2 toast because it’s simple, tastes good, and anybody can make it without needing lots of stuff. Also Jackson is my hero and he is a super awesome genius kayaker.

The Most Vital Resource by Owen Hartley

Nutella is one of the most important resources at Keeners. Some would even argue that it is more important than a helmet, PFD, spray skirt, or paddle. To understand the importance of Nutella, you have to take a step back and use your imagination. Imagine eating either eggs or plain toast every day for three weeks. Your only hope of spicing up your breakfast is jelly—which Zander already ate all of—or Nutella. Now you can see why Nutella is so important. However, some people take it for granted and spread inch-thick layers onto a single piece of toast. In summary, if you come to Keeners, don't eat all the Nutella unless you want to be hated.

My Home River by Will Gillespie

My home river is called the Clutha. Its a wide flat river. The part that I paddle on is a slalom course because I paddle slalom. The nearest big water river that I paddle is called the the Roaring Meg. It is part of the Kawarau Gorge near Queenstown. It is definitely not as big as the Ottawa but it still has a few big rapids. There is one part that sticks in my mind is a rapid where that water comes around a corner, across a bit the smashes in the a flat rock wall. There a big hole that you don't want to get stuck in and then a few big rapids as well. There is a beginner tradition where you have to jump off a 15ish meter tall rock. I really enjoy these rivers and love NZ.

How to Make a Whitehouse Breakfast by Sila Griffin

Step 1: Cook two Eggos in the toaster. Step 2: Cook some juicy bacon up in a pan. Step 3: Offer someone bacon and in return they have to do the dishes to minimize your work. Step 4: Cook two sunny-side up eggs with salt and pepper on them. Step 5: Take your food off of the pan and out of the toaster before it starts smoking and the fire alarm goes off. Step 6: Put an Eggo on a plate and lay your eggs and bacon on top of that Eggo before closing off your breakfast sandwich with your second Eggo. Step 7: Enjoy your food and protect it from your greedy cabin mates around you.

Beatdown Thursday by Zander Capozzi

Thursdays might be the most iconic day at Keener’s. It’s beat down Thursday. A day where we purposely find big water and big holes to desensitize ourselves to big water and go straight into them. Leading to some of the most legendary moments of our keener experience. This first Thursday was one to remember with several legendary beat downs and some equally legendary photos. See below. Then later, we came back with a floaty and went straight into the hole. Getting an absolutely worked.

I Promise I did not Eat your Protein Bars by Kai Stowers

I promise I did not eat your protein bars. If I did, I would've eaten the whole thing, not just taken tiny little bites out of it. I'm honestly surprised it took you this long to realize that we're not actually alone in Istanbul. There's definitely something else living below us or maybe inside with us. You should probably start watching your back... and your food. Every time we leave for even a few minutes or look away, these 2 little squirrels show up running around helping themselves to whatever snacks they can find. usually the chocolate protein bars. It doesn't even have the decency to steal the whole thing. It just takes one or two bites and leaves the evidence behind, making it look like one of us did it. It's honestly kind of smart, which is almost impressive if it wasn't so annoying. The squirrels aren’t the only things living with us. once lights out hits we have a zoo of bugs flying all around. i made friends with a little deer tick. he liked me so much he tried to live inside me. Thats when i had to cut the line. He’s gone now, along with my Lyme disease cause i took some pills that costed too much cause i’m in canada. not complaining because i’m in Canada! Keeners is a dream come true and i love everything about it. 

The Apple Juice Mystery by Evan Cassidy

Life at whitewater kayaking camp has been full of excitement, adventure. However, one event has managed to capture everyone’s attention more than any rapid we’ve paddled so far the disappearance of our cabin’s apple juice. It all started when we returned from a long day on the river. Everyone was tired, and looking forward to a drink since we just got our food stocked . When someone opened the refrigerator ,we discovered a shocking sight. The apple juice was completely gone we suspect that somebody chugged it . At first, nobody knew what had happened. Theories spread quickly throughout the cabin. Others suggested that perhaps it was accidentally thrown out. Or just eaten by the White House’s refrigerator, although on the end, it was all blamed on one person, but we will never know for sure unless the evidence is found Of course, the most likely explanation is that someone in our cabin enjoyed a little more apple juice than the rest of us. Despite several investigations and many accusations made, the identity of the apple juice chugger remains a mystery. While the missing juice may never be recovered, The residence of White House will remember the apple juice incident for at least a week and then probably forget, the end.

To Catch a Firefly by Charlie Woodward

Picture this, a group of keeners are sitting in the thunderdome watching the World Cup. It’s getting darker, the sun begins to set on the Ottawa river turning the dark brown to black. This means two things: curfew is soon and we would have to return to our cabins, and the fireflies begin to come out. Our attention was ripped from the TV when we noticed small flashes of light at the base of the trees on the edge of keenerville. We jumped up out of our seats and grabbed a Nalgene which would become a fireflies prison soon enough. We headed to the field near White House and carefully scanned the grass for the fleeting bursts of light we were searching for. We spied one and attempted to scoop it into the water bottle. It took a few attempts but we finally had the little orb of brilliance trapped. We gazed into the bottle while it flitted around before we opened the lid and let it float back into the wild.

How to Win Best Beatdown When it’s not Beatdown Day by Callan Fox

Step 1: Go on the Middle channel on day 2. Step 2: Get out to scout Iron Ring and realize that it looks very swirly. Step 3: Decide that you need redemption from when you ran it at a high level last year, where you got stuck in the Room of Doom and had to get help getting out of your boat. Step 4: Volunteer to run the rapid second and walk up. You are going to face your fears. Step 5: Run the rapid with a little less momentum than you meant to get. Flip after you hit the foam pile and get sent into the room of doom. Roll up in your second try, only to be sent way up into the eddy. Step 6: back ender in the eddy and get pinned upside down on the rocks. Realize you won’t really be able to roll, so pull your skirt. Step 7: Immediately get sent down into the depths of the Iron Ring boils. Keep hold of your paddle because that would be tragic to lose. Step 8: Hit the bottom of the river, something you did not know was possible. Start to panic because you can’t hold your breath any longer. Step 9: Finally resurface, way far downstream. Gasp for air and swim as hard as you can. Step 10: Profusely thank everyone who helped with you and all of your gear. Step 11: Never forget this experience. Everyone will remind you.

Analysis of Keener Airborne Transport Vehicle by Holden Constantino

Previous commentary by Isaac Sinton-Remes proposed, and ultimately rejected, a Keenerpult capable of launching a 75kg mass approximately 250m. This paper reevaluates that task and proposes a solution. The Keenerpult model ignored air resistance. Though this eases the calculations required for a trebuchet as proposed by Isaac, it fails to consider the benefits of a gliding vehicle. Even a vehicle with a 1.5:1 glide ratio, with initial altitude of 25m, and initial distance of 50m (to account for launch; which will be explained later) can glide 37.5m on descent, compared to <= 25m on a typical ballistic trajectory. Therefore, a glide vehicle alleviates some of the problems with a trebuchet. The KATV program operates on a tight budget, so the design of the glide vehicle is simple. We may simply take a half-slice (being reasonably light and aerodynamic), add a pair of fixed wings for lift, with elevons and rudder on the rear. One notes that roll is controlled entirely by the tailplane. A canopy is to be erected over the cockpit. The pilot will not therefore need a PFD, skirt, or helmet. If the pilot is 60kg, the boat is 20kg, and the modifications are 30kg, this comes to 110kg. Self-propulsion is discussed later, but even then this glider is not able to take off unassisted. A jet sled seems most practical. The Keener bus can be dismantled (if it has not already been unintentionally), the engine removed to the rear, and connected to a large fan. The cabin will be removed entirely, and the remaining chassis can be placed on rails. A hollow drum, terminating in a frustum or cone, can be placed behind the propeller. The kayak is mounted forwards of the engine for launch. During launch, the engine is started and spun up. Once reaching full power, the drum of kerosene fuel conveniently placed above the engine is vented into the cylinder by the propellor and ignited. This creates a primitive jet engine. After this engine reaches full power, the cart is released up the inclined track and the kayak released. If the cart at release weighs 1500kg, burns through 150kg of fuel, and accelerates exhaust at 1000m/s, the cart can accelerate up to 140 m/s or so. 100m/s seems a likely target, considering drag and friction. This mechanism could probably launch the kayak, but it would not get far. The final element of this system is to attach a motor and propeller to the stern of the kayak. This is to be used to allow the kayak to maintain flight and climb. After consideration of a KATV system, this is found to be practicable. I propose the immediate construction of this system.

How to Run McCoys Rapid by Kyan Vigoda

There are 5 main lines on Mccoys rapid: left sneak, right sneak, right boof, Saettlers, and Phil’s tongue. Left sneak is on the far left shore and goes around a secluded corner. It is an extremely easy line but does become very rocky or unrunnable at lower water. Right sneak and right boof are on the right shore with sneak directly along the shore and boof a foot or two out. These lines are fairly easy and are good for kayakers less comfortable with the rapid. To run Saettlers paddle hard over or through Saettlers hole and try to end up towards football eddy and away from Phil’s. Phil’s tongue is between both sides of Phil’s hole and will push you straight through if lined up correctly.

Don't be the Ghost of Robertsons by Tyler Goldstein

This is a message to any future keeners. It will take you through the steps of how to wash your own dishes. This session in Robertson there seems to be a ghost putting dirty Nutella bowls and other uncleaned dishes in the sink. So to step any future keeners from becoming the ghost of Robertson in years to come. I will make this simple. Step 1: You walk into the kitchen and grab your snack of choice. Let’s say a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Step 2: You make and eat your pb and j and make a mess all over your plate. Step 3: Two years living with other teenagers at at a boarding school has taught me this is where people fall to the darkside. Instead of putting it in the fridge for a fellow cabin mate to clean, you grab a sponge, put some soap on it, and scrub the dish until it is clean. Step 4: You dry the dish and place it back where it came from. Sent from my iPhone

The Rich Get Richer by Jackson Gratz

We all know the struggles of Keenerville, limited food, shared rooms, and so much more. One cabin however is exempt from our hardships, Yakistan. Yakistan, the only cabin where everyone gets their own room, Yakistan, who gets 1kg of Nutella for 3 people when we feed 10, Yakistan, who is late to every activity, and still has no push-ups. It’s hard not to grasp the disparities, and it gets worse. Last night, we discovered the incredible abundance of eating utensils contained in the cabinets of their cabin. While we in Robertsons only had three forks and were forced to eat with our hands, Yakistan had TWENTY SEVEN! While the rest of us are living in abject squalor, Yakistan is enjoying their abundant resources. We need to defund Yakistan and appropriate utensils fairly.

Paradise by Bennett Whalen

Keeners is a kayakers paradise. It is three weeks of big white water and some of the best coaches you can get. It is vary including to everyone know mater how skillful you are. Everyone will help each other do their best and help if you swim. There are also so many amazing surf waves, and me coming from Alberta, I don’t usually get to go on such powerful waves. When you are off the wave the coaches will also be there to help you with things they think you should try and also will tell you what you can improve on from the last run. So with all that I think I have explained why keeners is a kayakers paradise.

Animal House by Eli Knights

Don't leave your protein bars lying out in the open. This is a lesson we learnt very quickly living in Istambul or should I say the animal house. On the very first day of Keeners we left our cabin for less than an hour and came back to find that something had nibbled away at Jacob's protein bar. This continued with the creature even eating through a plastic bag and a wrapper to get at the bars. We found out who the food thief was when one day we came back and saw two squirrels that quickly ran under our beds. After the squirrels had left the cabin we searched the cabin for where they were getting in and found a sizable gap under the logs next to the door. To stop any squirrels from returning for a midnight snack a spare sheet was shoved into the gap and taped in there. However, squirrels aren't the only problem we face in Istambul. With a gappy door mosquitos love finding their way into our room to eat us when we try to sleep. We've resorted to putting bug spray in our hair or just covering ourselves in it to avoid being devoured. All in all I've learnt that staying in Istambul is a challenge of its own and you're sharing your room with a myriad of other critters.

Beatdown of the Century by Jacob Zivony

I was expecting a lot to happen when I came to keeners but one thing that wasn’t in the cards for me was a beatdown so bad that the beat downee was under water for more then 25 seconds. When we first set up to run iron ring I was expecting maybe a swim but what I wasn’t expecting was someone to go in the curtain of green water and get plunged 50 feet deep below the turbulent whirlpools and touch the bottom. When Callan first did her run I was super hyped at first because she was getting beatdown in the more traditional sense and she was fighting it, which was sick. When the room of doom decided to push her in to the curtain things took a very different turn. I was setting safety and I had my rope but she wasn’t looking so I didn’t throw it. Little did I know neither of us were gonna see each other for a while 25 seconds while she was under the water getting sucked down. When she popped up more then 100 feet down from iron ring all of us were shocked. She popped up holding her paddle and started swimming like nothing happened. That beatdown definitely takes the cake for the biggest beatdown I have ever seen in person or on video. If you ever plan on running iron ring at 11 and 1/2 on the gauge then you should be prepared to take a VERY VERY deep and long swim.