Keener Scrolling Addiction by Kam Weiss

Even though I have only been attending keeners for less than a week, it has already been made clear to me that there is a major epidemic in a popular modern teenage pastime - “scrolling.” Even though it seems to be a harmless activity, similar to the effects of watching TV, scrolling’s short-form based content has insidious consequences effects, especially in the realm of chores around the cabin. The hypnotic allure of scrolling makes keeners walk from their dish-washing duties to the comfortable leather couch, leaving other cabin mates to assume their abandoned responsibilities. Now that we understand the adverse effects of the epidemic, it is important (as scientists) to look into how scrolling happens: via tiktok and instagram. Users mainly use their thumbs in a down swiping motion in order to skip past a video that is undesirable or uninteresting. Normally, each video ranges from 30 seconds to a minute and a half, however, in my studies, i have seen videos that are less than 5 seconds. Another interesting difference in scrolling compared to watching normal television is its vertical format. Instead of a more default landscape type view, scrolling uses a vertical format so users are able to ergonomically hold their phone and still be able to consume entertainment. But what makes scrolling different from normal television? It’s ergonomic viewing style? Its ability to skip past undesirable content? It’s short form nature? As an esteemed researcher like myself, it is necessary to realize that all factors play apart in this epidemic, and even after this immense research, I still have not come to an appropriate conclusion on how to remove scrolling and make keeners do chores, I may be able to continue on this topic in a further article. I also wrote this article in half an hour and Will scrolled the entire time right next to me on full volume which was pretty ironic.