How To Get The Triple Crown Beatdown - By Dan

 Step 1: Acquire a kayak. This can be achieved using money.

Step 2: Ignore the fact that you are about to get beaten in three holes within a minute of each other.

Step 3: Drop into sattlers. Bonus points for dropping in while making a claw.

Step 4: Get demolished in sattlers. Bonus points if you land a loop. 

Step 5: Wash out of sattlers. Best done dazed and confused.

Step 6: Regain composure. Roll up if required.

Step 7: Drop into left side Phil’s. Best done while making a claw.

Step 8: Surf over to right side Phil’s. Take care not to wash off of the tongue. 

Step 9: Take a beating in right side Phil’s. Preferably with many tumbles. 

Step ten: Wash out of the right side tongue. Walk back up and do it again.

Next week: How to hand surf Phil’s hole.

Beatdown Thursday: By Colin Godwin

I was counting down the days till beatdown Thursday and I could wait forever for it to come. I seriously thought about asking one of the coaches to see if I could sit out on it so I didn’t have to do it. The coaches told us that we had to swim the rapid first and I was nervous for that but I was more willing to do it. Once I went through my nerves were almost completely gone and I got in my boat and hit Phil’s and only flipped. I basically wasn’t scared at all anymore and was ready to go some more. I went two more times and on my last one I got a few good tumbles in Phil’s. I was ready to go even more after I saw nothing was wrong. After doing beatdown Thursday I saw there was nothing to be scared of and I was ready to do it next week. 

How To Get A Good Farmer’s Tan At Keeners: By Jonas Tiedje

 Your goal while being at keeners might be to have the best farmer’s tan in the whole valley and let me tell you it’s not easy but I’ll teach you. First of all you want to always be wearing a short sleeve top while on the water and it needs to be tight around the arms. Second step is to not apply sunscreen at all, it might be mildly painful for a few days but that sunburn will turn into a nice and crisp tan line. Third step is to apply a lot of aloe Vera on that sun burn, for obvious reason’s. Fourth step is to make sure you repeat that process on every day that is sunny so you can keep it nice and crispy. Once you’ve done all those step for the whole session you might have a farmers tan just as good as mine. Just keep in mind that you have to be careful to not tan any other part of your torso if you want to keep it nice and defined. 

How To Make The Perfect Breakfast Sandwich At Keeners: By Luis

 It is a fact that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. This is especially true at keeners. At keeners we spend most of the day kayaking so it’s essential that we have fuel to get us through the day. Lately my cabin White House we have been cooking breakfast sandwiches. Based on many food reviews I have been told that they taste great. These sandwiches appear to have egg, bacon and your choice of bread. How do we make them? 

Step one: break eggs into bowl (2 per person) 

Step two: add salt pepper and milk Into bowl. Mix all together 

Step three: cook bacon (one per person)

Step four: take your bread (bagel, English muffin or sliced bread) and toast it. After toasted wrap in paper and keep warm in the oven. 

Step five: scramble eggs in a pan. 

Step six: assemble all together. 

Now you have your perfect sandwich to start your day at keeners. 

Ottawa River Shocks Coming From Colorado: By Saige Shulda

 Many keeners at this camp come from Colorado, including me. The Ottawa river is very different from any river near me, and in this blog I will explain why. 

1. The water is WARM. I am used to kayaking in my dry suit with base layers (for skiing) underneath and still being cold. Here, I can kayak in a t-shirt and shorts and be warm. The river here is warmer than lakes near my house. 

2. The water is deep. Many rivers near my house are much shallower than the section of river we are kayaking here. I have scratch marks on my helmet from hitting many rocks on the bottom of rivers, especially in play waves. 

3. You have to paddle between rapids. Never in my life have I actually had to paddle between rapids like I have to on the Ottawa. It almost feels like lakes of still water in between the rapids.  

These are all of the points that I can think of at this moment, although I will probably think of more later. So far I love the Ottawa river, and I hope I can come back! 

Burned Eggos - By Aidan

 This is how I learned how not to cook eggos. 

One quiet morning in Robertsons while a large amount of eggos were cooking and the toaster was full I decided to use a pan. In this pan I placed an ego it cooked wonderfully and then a second. When I cooked the third I forgot to oil the pan and it burned and stuck to the pan, and when it burned it smoked and smoked a lot. All this smoke annoyed the members of Robertson. This received backlash but I blame the lack of ventilation and the fact that I was not the only one cooking. I cooked one more and it was also great. In conclusion the pan was not the correct choice for cooking eggos. To this day there is still ego burned to that pan. 

First Week Of Keeners - Colin Glackin

When I arrived at keeners I was excited for new water levels. I saw that it was lower but that meant nothing to me. When I got here I was shocked the water was low. The seal launch was almost 20 feet longer. We started paddling the river banks looked the same but the river changed a lot the features that I knew were there, were gone either rocks or blended into the banks. New waves and holes had appeared replacing others or where flat water used to be. I liked it but was also sad that some features were gone. I am glad now with the new waves making the same river different it was exciting I am stoked to get on these fractures more and get some new tricks and try new lines that did not exist last session.