How To Get The Triple Crown Beatdown - By Dan

 Step 1: Acquire a kayak. This can be achieved using money.

Step 2: Ignore the fact that you are about to get beaten in three holes within a minute of each other.

Step 3: Drop into sattlers. Bonus points for dropping in while making a claw.

Step 4: Get demolished in sattlers. Bonus points if you land a loop. 

Step 5: Wash out of sattlers. Best done dazed and confused.

Step 6: Regain composure. Roll up if required.

Step 7: Drop into left side Phil’s. Best done while making a claw.

Step 8: Surf over to right side Phil’s. Take care not to wash off of the tongue. 

Step 9: Take a beating in right side Phil’s. Preferably with many tumbles. 

Step ten: Wash out of the right side tongue. Walk back up and do it again.

Next week: How to hand surf Phil’s hole.