How Not To Cook Hashbrowns: By Aidan Meadows

 Hash browns are a delicacy of potatoes fried in oil (not in Canada). They are delicious when cook the proper way and are delectable with eggs. 

How to cook:

Prep time - 30 minutes 

Cook time - 1 hour 

Fermentation time - 7 hours

Total time - 30,600 seconds

First off you grate potatoes into a bowl. (This is what you do for all fresh hash browns). Next you don’t remove the starch so they are nice and not crispy by not rinsing multiple times and then soaking. Next you don’t dry them because they aren’t wet and you put them into a pan with cold oil. Then you add a lot more oil and turn it on to medium heat. After that you wait for them to fry without stirring them for over an hour. Remember to not add salt or pepper. Then you turn off the heat and walk away for 8 hours. When you come back, you should take a nibble and then show your “masterpiece” to a friend or someone else who is in the area. (They should have significantly shrunk into tiny mushy clumps.) Wait to get their reaction (this is mandatory but doesn’t do anything). Then you throw your abomination out because you cooked them the wrong way. 

Congratulations, this is the wrong way to cook hash browns!

Robertson's Is The Best Cabin: By Dodge Harvey

Robertson is the best cabin. It is in the prime location, being right next to the boat rack, the thunder dome, and the put in. This allows for easy access, and saves a lot of time. Although while living in Robertson you are susceptible to the impeccable hearing of an individual, who is more than happy to dish out push ups. In short terms you can’t get away with a lot. The cabin itself provides a spacious living room and kitchen. As well as the only washing machine and drier in keener Ville. It also comes with the added amenities such as: an old computer, a tv that doesn’t work, and a chipmunk, that shows up occasionally like an unwanted relative. All in all Robertsons is the prime place to live at keener Ville.

Breakdown Of McCoys Rapid: By Pascal Fels

McCoys rapid is the first and one of the only class 4 rapids on the Ottawa River (the section keeners paddle). It starts with a shallow ledge/shelf on the left, and a big hole just to the right. Slightly down river is Phil’s hole. Phil’s hole extends from about 10 feet out of the right shore to about the middle of the river. Right side of Phil’s is the juiciest and most retentive, left side is still juicy but slightly less retentive, however, there is a tongue in between the two. Below that is corner wave on the right, and football eddy on the left, and there is an island in the middle which divides the river. To the right of the island, is left side and ride side horseshoe which make different wave depending on the flow. on the left side of the island is football eddy and two little trickles. Below the horseshoe is baby face or fluffy bunny, both form at different levels. Every way empties out into a huge pool. 

Failure Isn't Something To Be Angry About: By Joseph Lavigne

On the Monday speech night Stephen Wright, one of our coaches, gave an amazing speech. In this speech he used infants and toddlers perseverance to give us an example. When learning to do a new thing like walking or crawling or rolling over, babies try over and over and over again to do these things even if it hurts when they fail. The parents encourage them when they fail. This is how we should always treat failures even large ones. I face planted off Gorilla, a quite intense rapid on the Green Narrows. This failure stopped me from running it because it was so scary and I was afraid of this happening again. But the good thing is I have a video of what happened and I can easily learn from those mistakes. Even though it could’ve been much worse, it wasn’t and i’m able to paddle another day. So when I get back im gonna use the experience from my failure and add it to my arsenal of ways to improvise in hairy situations. Don’t beat yourself up about messing up lines, even on stuff you do all the time. All this is doing is making you worse and wasting time that you could be using learning from your mistakes and overcoming them.

Don't Eat The WT Mac n Cheese: By Evan Bate

On that fateful day (Thursday July 25) after some wild beatdowns in Phills and Sadlers the keeners needed some grub. It was bbq chicken night at WT, the sides for bbq night are potato’s and Mac and cheese. As we neared the end of the diner line my unnamed roommate “COUGH COUGH Joe” me a terrible gametime decision and said yes to mac & cheese. This is quite important because previously everyone who ate this mac & cheese was gassy and had a messed up stomach. Everyone who did not eat It was fine. The night went on and all quiet on the Western front. We went to bed, but soon tragedy struck. I woke up, coughing in the room smelled awful. I stood up and asked my roommate “bro did you just rip?” He responded “Yeah” as he lets out yet another of one of the loudest most putrid farts ever. Soon chaos instilled and I barely managed to escape the room. The smell was so awful. I could not bring myself to go back to the room and I made the decision to sleep on the couch for the next hour and a half. When I woke back up, I went back into the room and it was better and we have been Incident free since. This goes out as a warning to all returning in future Keeners the mac & cheese is toxic.

Best Things To Do In Keeners: By Dillon Warble

One of the things thats good to do in Keeners is make sure to eat as much as possible and more than you might think because you need the calories. In Keeners the water might be scary but it’s very safe and this is made clear but still just try stuff. Another thing is to make sure to do is make friends. Hygiene is a long topic but it’s very important to shower so you don’t get infections. Make sure to brush your teeth twice a day because issues with your teeth could be a huge pain to deal with. Make sure to bring deodorant because you don’t want to stink up the place and also do laundry and not repeat clothes. Thursdays are many people’s favorite day even though it seems deadly. Thursday is very safe and Phil’s will give you a ride same with Sattlers but you won’t hit any rocks and if you swim it won’t hold you so there is nothing to be afraid of but just enjoy the ride. 

That is the stuff in keeners that is a must.

Why The Ottawa River Is An Amazing River: By Samuel Gravel

The Ottawa River is full of a large variety of different beautiful high-volume rapids and surf waves. The rapid is full of a ton of surf waves, each wave being amazing for different tricks. This makes the Ottawa river amazing because of the amount of tricks that are possible on these waves. At the ottawa river, the water levels are always changing which makes it very fun as every time you hop onto the water, you can expect a different ride. The change of water levels are very nice because on some days you could be surfing amazing waves like babyface and push button which are amazing and on some other days, other amazing play spots would be open. There are many different types of rapids on this river, they range from chutes like Garvins to high volume waves and holes which can be found in rapids like Mccoys and Coliseum.

The river is nice because of the 2 channels you can go down, you could go down the middle which is a much calmer channel, but it has a few rapids which will challenge even the greatest paddlers. 

You could go down the main channel which is where most of the significant rapids are, each rapid is very large and fun to go down, but at high water is when it starts to get real crazy.