How to rock the Walmart Trip By: West Burge

         Every session the Ottawa Kayak School Keeners go into the local town of Pembroke, Ontario for a trip to the grocery store, the movies, and the mall. In this blog I will be telling you how to make the most of your grocery store visit. The first thing you need to do is make a list of things you want. The Keeners packing list requires you to bring a journal that could be used to make your list. You can also use your phone.  Always make sure to wright down everything that you think of right away. The worst thing is having a great idea and then forgetting it right before Walmart. When adding things to your list make sure that the items you consider will benefit you and others. Buying senseless paraphernalia is a waste your money and your time. Also consider buying communal food or items. People will like you more if you offer something to the group. Once you are actually in Walmart try to minimize impulse buys so you can buy quality items on your list. I bought a very nice bottle of olive oil for cooking instead of buying a shirt. You only have a limited time in Walmart so make it quick when finding things. A really good way to maximize your time is to ask an employee, they know the store better than anyone else. The last thing I have to say is remember to buy things that will last through the session. Oh, one more thing, make it to the bus on time!

How Trying New Rivers Helps Kayaking Overall, By: West Burge

Do you ever wonder why more experienced boaters are generally better? Well, I think I have the answer. I think that they are better because they have done more rivers. If you have paddled lots of rivers, that means you have had to deal with many challenges. You will have dealt with challenges like unknown rapids, unexpected holes, pinned boats, and most other things that can go wrong. Dealing with challenges can make you a better kayaked because you are more confident in your skills.  This means that you can boat scout better because you know you can paddle up when you are done looking at the line. It also means that you don't freak out when you get in a swift water rescue scenario.  That can help because you can generally stop things from going more wrong quicker. This skill can, in the rare occasion saved lives. The sport that we participate in has a lot of risk involved so it is always better to be cool, calm, and collected whenever we go boating. When you achieve the rank of an experienced boater you will be more efficient in rapids. Trying new rivers can help you become more experienced, and a stronger boater. New rivers might have new features, that you might not have on the rivers you usually paddle. This will help you figure out how to deal with new features any time you come across one. I have tried a few new rivers where I live and never have been let down. Try as many new rivers as you can, and remember to have fun!

Success At Last - Nathan Bond

Over my two years here at Keeners the one trick I have persistently worked towards is the blunt.  A blunt, if you are not familiar, is a hundred-eighty degree rotation around the bow of the boat initiated by edging on a bounce and quickly switching edges.  This trick has given me nightmares ever since I learned of its existence last year at Keeners.  I have been unable to fully achieve it and end up with the less impressive version of the blunt; a roundhouse.  Saturday, a group of fellow Keeners and I paddled down to Minibus for a laidback weekend session.  The lines were short and the rides were almost back-to-back, despite it being the middle of the day on the weekend, allowing lots of quality practice.  Then... it happened.

Needless to say I went pretty huge.  I have no idea what it was that immediately allowed me to get it but right after that blunt I got another left blunt on the same ride.  We went to lunch shortly after my great ride and more than half the group was eager to return to Keenerville.  Me and a few others were persistent and got just enough Keeners to stay with us.  After lunch it happened again.  This time though it was CLEAN, meaning no paddle blade touched the water.  Somehow, overnight, something must have clicked because all the sudden I can blunt and it feels good.  The moral of this story is to continue working towards your goals even if it may seem you'll never reach them because eventually you will just as I finally blunted after a year of failure.

Decisions... - Holly Wilson

     So these past few days have been a tiny bit of a struggle... Actually that's a lie. These last few days, although they may have their highlights, have sucked for the most part. I was off the water for 3 days in a row, not for being a naughty child but due to sickness and injury. Day one was due to stomach problems and looking back now I wish that was the worst I had it. The rest were due to a fantastically horrid injury....

     While playing Ultimate Frisbee Tuesday morning I managed to run straight into the cap of the septic tank for our cabins. The tank already sticks out in a very inconvenient manner at the end of our field used for most Keener morning activities. I know for a fact I am not the first one to run into this hazard, many people before me have managed to. I am, however, the first to my knowledge to run at and manage a sprain like this. I ran to knock a Frisbee out of someones hand and my ankle slammed sideways into the electrical box of the cap and then slide underneath it and me.

     Of course it hurt at first, I was running full speed and slammed right into. That alone would hurt, but to also have my ankle roll underneath me like that... Well it was really painful. At first I couldn't put any weight on it and the swelling started immediately. We iced it and gave me some medication but it still hurt like crazy. So, Keener Mom Anna decided it was time for our first trip to the ER this summer, and I was just lucky enough to be the first victim.

My ankle immediately after the incident

     The ER trip was long and boring, but not one I'll soon forget. Although it lasted a about 4 hour and I had to be wheeled around because I couldn't actually walk, it was not as horrible as I thought it would be. The company , Anna Bruno and Matheiu Dumoulin, actually made the trip rather entertaining. The two of them could not sit still for more than 10 minutes at a time, so after being banned from another Tim Horton's trip by the lovely ladies at the front desk they took it upon themselves to learn how to become doctors with all the lovely equipment in my new room. The two of them can now thoroughly tell you if your ears are clean and if your reflexes are working. We can tell you the Anna's reflexes are useless. 

     After receiving the news that my X-Rays came back negative for any fractures (or so they think) we were released with the information that it is just a really awful sprain. Now I was faced with a hard decision, what to do now... Although Keeners is all about making decisions, which line is quickest, which will get me a good beat down, should I take a rest day or not, and many more that impact the experience you have here, this decision was much bigger than the rest. I had to decide everyday if I wanted to go out or not, and in the end, if I was staying for the next session. Of course everyday I wanted to go out, I came here to kayak. There was still a fear though that I would make my ankle worse by going out and cause permanent damage. Although I don't think I made the wrong choice over the past few days, it may not have been the best...

Welcome to Browntown with Bennett Fleming

While many at keeners wish to improve whitewater kayaking skills and form bonds that will last a lifetime, I on the other hand wish to walk the righteous path and reach the state of tan known only as “Browntown”. In an attempt to document my journey, I will lead you through the 7+ stages to the ultimate brown. As a wise man once said, sunscreen is for white people.

Stages I - III: The Phantom Brown, The Clone Brown, and Revenge of the Brown

Honestly, these stages aren’t even worth talking about, and are rather shameful if I do say so myself. Like the Star Wars prequels, we pretend that they don’t even exist.

Stage IV: A New Brown

At stage 4, the brown is very pronounced. A distinct life jacket tan line can be seen, or as former keener David Koyrakh said, “That’s not a tan line, that’s a race line.” Many compliments are given and much pride is taken in the brown.

Stage V: The Brown Strikes Back

“No sunscreen is the path to bad skin. No sunscreen leads to tan, tan leads to dry skin, dry skin leads to peeling.” - Definitely Yoda

Stage VI: Return of the Brown

Though through unfortunate genetics my skin dries out very quickly and thus peels easily, the Browni are not so easily beaten. Like a brown phoenix, in the smouldering pile of peeled skin, a new, more glorious tan is being reborn. At the end of week 2 at keeners, with dedication and lots of moisturizer, I am currently in-between stages V and VI, and hope to reach full stage VI by the end of the session.

Stage VII: The Browntown Awakens

The stories are real, all of them. Only after years of careful patience and dedication can one achieve Browntown, a tan so righteous that only a true Browni master could only dream of achieving. 

Thank you all for joining me on this epic odyssey in my quest to achieve Browntown. They say that a new stage, Stage VIII, exists, but only whispers of its name are heard. Maybe we’ll see in the Christmas of 2017.

Credit: Anna Bruno

Till next time,

Bennett Fleming