How to poop like a ninja at keeners (Joseph Pancharian)

At keeners in your free time don’t tell anyone that you are going to go poop, but if are on the river then tell someone. So first you want to drop your pants and sit on the potty and poo. Once you are done pooping you grab the toilet paper l fold it or whatever you do to wipe the poo of your bum and flush it down the toilet. If the poop doesn’t go down the toilet then you have to grab the plunger and plunge the toilet until the poop goes on down and around the toilet and out of site. If you’re sitting on the toilet and it’s not easy to get the poop out, then your body is saying that you need to drink more water. Now let’s say you take a poo and it’s about as long as one of Santa’s elves; then maybe you need to do a little flush before you wipe your bum. If the poo doesn’t seem to be going down the toilet and the water starts to rise; then you have to grasp the plunger tightly and plug the crap out the toilet. Once you plug that toilet really good, then you can try to flush toilet again. It should go down the toilet now and if it doesn’t then you just have to plug harder. Now that your poop has gone down the toilet and then you think it really smells like poo in the bathroom, then spray some febreze. Finally you have to wash your hands before leaving the bathroom because people don’t want to eat food covered in financial matter. 

That’s how you poop like a ninja at keeners.