Raceday by Max Goldberg

We started off by doing a fun relay race the McCoys, we ran the whole rapid in sections with fun challenges along the way. Our second race was a time trial at Garb, we had to get into the main eddy from the top of the rapid and only a couple people ended up making it. After you had to touch a throw rope on the rock, then high five Stephen. Our second to last race was a rescue race where we split up into teams and one person swims while the two others rescue the paddle and the boat. My team ended up winning that one. Our final race was through one of the last rapid where we all had to have our legs out of the boat and first one at the end wins. I started out in front but as my boat started filling with water I quickly lost my position in the front and ended up flipping a few seconds later. Overall Race Day was a lot of fun and am looking forward to next weeks.

Why Popcorn is the Best Keener Snack by Jack Flemming

I am slightly biased toward popcorn. I think it is a legendary snack for many different reasons, which I will cover later, but I also think it is particularly legendary at Keeners. Before I tell you why, I think it is worth noting that my love of popcorn is hereditary. My dad is a notorious popcorn eater, as well as my older brother, who actually has a plate in the thunderdome that gives him the glorious title of “Mr. Popcorn.” So you ask, why is it so good? It seems so basic. How could a literal vegetable be a good snack? My answer: because it is like nothing else. Go ahead and try to think of a snack that shares the unique qualities of popcorn. It is hard, and if you can think of one, I would love to hear it. There is something immensely satisfying about the uniqueness of popcorn, especially when paired with the rest of its amazing elements. What does this have to do with Keeners, though? At Keeners, and more specifically in Robertson’s, we arrived and found an entire box of microwave popcorn that the last two sessions had left behind. This meant that we had been eating an ungodly amount of it for the past week. We eat it when we get off the water, with the movies we watch, and just for fun. The reason it is the best Keener's snack is how it is already amazing like I described above, but abundantly available and exceptional considering the schedule and life at Keenerville.

This Thursday by John Wagner

It was Thursday. I had predecided that my plan was to drop into left side Phil’s and that was it. I said that I might go into right side but I never actually thought I was going to, at least until I got flushed so fast even I couldn’t consider it a beatdown. So I tried again and flushed almost as fast, at that point it no longer held any thrill and so there was no point, I was going to just run thread the needle but Becca somehow convinced me to run right side. I have never in my life been as scared as I was then, in a seemingly shrinking eddy. I decided to get it over with, with a lot of encouragement from Becca and paddled out. As I went through the waves above with my heart pounding I almost chickened and ran the tongue, but after a mental debate ran into the side. I felt the boat flip over me and popped out the other side of the hole, Phil’s cheated me out of a good beatdown three times. In the eddy below I was quite disappointed and frustrated that I had wasted my runs flushing, then David asked me if I wanted another go, I had to resist the urge to jump out of my kayak as I scrambled up the shore for a real beatdown, or at least a more satisfying one.

Dude Food Deodorant by Tucker Troutman

When kayaking, especially in flat water, nothing is more convenient than a deodorant bar that tastes and smells like your favorite foods. I thought of this as a major solution to a big problem: being unable to smell like your favorite foods, which ultimately leads to underperforming while kayaking. My deodorant will double your athletic capabilities by being completely edible, packed with vitamins and protein, while the scent provides the same focus-boosting effects as spearmint gum. The deodorant will be delicious and taste exactly like real food because it actually contains the ingredients it is flavored after. My technique for making this involves creating an edible, tasty base bar, blending the specific food flavor, and mixing it right into the bar. The deodorant bar will be the size of a regular deodorant bar, spanning from your wrist to the beginning of your fingers, which is approximately 4 inches, This size provides plenty of deodorant to eat and smell both on and off the river. If I could choose a custom flavor for my edible deodorant bar, it would be ramen noodles. I would love to eat ramen noodles whenever I want while kayaking, and being able to smell like them would be a massive bonus. You cannot change my mind—this is the best idea of the millennium and it will be the next massive company.

The People's River by Jackson Lilly

Today while kayaking David and I were having a conversation about Pushbutton, which he had called the people's wave, which then introduced the topic of how one would turn the Ottawa River or the section with all the fun rapids into a communist society. Step one: decide who the proletariat and the bourgeoisie are. We decided that the bourgeoisie, being the upper class and the wealthy, would be the rafts because they are always cutting lines for garb and push-button and baby face. Then it was decided that the proletariat would be the surfers. Step two. The proletariat will then seize the means of production from the bourgeoisie. We decided this would be done by disallowing the rafts to go into the surf waves and make them wait their turn like all others creating equality among river users. Step 3: Overthrow the bourgeoisie in a revolution. This can be done through: 1. A. Possibly destroying the rafts. 2. B. Boycotting the rafts and creating a new rafting system that is run by people who know how to enforce equality. In conclusion you now have a river for the people and run by the people. Everyone waits for their surf and now gets a surf by waiting in line.

Every Person is Unique by Connor Cole

Throughout these last 3 weeks I’ve gotten to know a little bit about each of my fellow keeners and leaders. Every one of them has some unique qualities and interests that they’re passionate about. To name a few, Becca enjoys crocheting and embroidery floss, which I’ve started trying. Aaron used to be in a UK band where he played bass before the 2020 pandemic shut them down, and also is in a dual kayaking YouTube channel called “Chasing The Flow”. David helped a lot in the designing process of the Jackson. Steven showed us the ins and outs of designing a carbon boat, which I found very interesting. Tyler, a barista, and skateboards. Jasper, going to a hockey school. Jackson, a wrestler. Cole, is training to be a nurse. Cooper, used to play a lot of guitar. All that to say it was so fun getting to know this group of people from around America,(and a little of Europe, don’t worry I didn’t forget Aaron and Wolfy innit) over these last 3 weeks. I am SURE I forgot many other things about yall as i kind of feel on the spot just doing one blog post. All that said all of yall are cool, and It was nice just getting to talk a little about your experiences and what yall enjoy doing with your free time. Thanks to all of Keeners session 2, love yall.

Last Day by Jasper Vollmerhaus

Approaching the last day on the water all as a group I am both excited and extremely sad that it is almost over. I had so many different days, sometimes the most fun day ever with very little struggle, and other days you’ll be so exhausted and tired that you cannot even roll properly. Every day was also different even though many had the same theme, everyday had its own set of events whether they are good or bad. The one thing you can always count on is your cabin mates to make you laugh. If you are exhausted and just want to go to bed after a shower, you can expect to see your boys wrestling on the floor with the furniture moved out of the way. Or the constant teasing about something you said, did, thought about saying, or thought about doing that seemed annoying in the moment, but looking back is just really funny. The truth I learned after Keeners is while I won’t remember every moment at keener, everything that happened, I will always remember how happy my cabin mates made me feel.