How to make cookies at Keeners when you have no cookie making ingredients - Olivia Summerfield

When at Keeners you sometimes get bored on the weekends, it is very rare, but it happens.  Because we have a kitchen and various foods you sometimes have the urge to bake or cook something while you are bored.  One day while I was bored I wanted to bake some cookies. Because we had sugar, flour, and eggs I thought it would work, I thought wrong.  As I was using the bad wifi to look up cookie recipes I started to realize I was missing many important ingredients to bake cookies.  So I have concocted a guide (much like I concocted the cookies) on how to make cookies at Keeners when you have no cookie making ingredients.  

First - Get out all the ingredients that you have that could be used to make cookies.

Second – Look up multiple cookie recipes, realize you are missing key ingredients, then shake your fist in rage at the lack of internet and ingredients.

Third – After you finish with your fit of frustration start to get creative.  Look at the large bag of pancake mix thoughtfully and look up pancake mix cookie recipes (there are surprisingly a lot).

Fourth – Chose the first pancake mix cookie recipe that pops up on google and gather the ingredients, which are as follow – Three cups of pancake mix, a half cup of sugar, a half a cup of brown sugar, one egg, one third cup of water, and two teaspoons of vanilla or almond extract. 

 

Fifth – Once you have gathered all the ingredients, while simultaneously realizing you do not have vanilla or almond extract and that you do not have brown sugar,  you can proceed.  After you have shaken your fist in rage at the lack of ingredients for the second time, go back to the bad internet and google replacements for the extract and brown sugar.  The replacement for vanilla extract that I decided to use was pancake syrup.  Then I replaced the brown sugar with more white sugar.

 

Sixth – Measure out all the ingredients and put them into a large bowl.  If you do not have a measuring cup, which I did not, use a coffee mug and your power of estimation.  Also make sure when substituting ingredients that you substitute the right ingredients.  I did not pay attention to what ingredients I was substituting and ended up with a half a cup of syrup instead of two teaspoons.  Let’s just say those were some very sweet cookies.  

Seventh – After you have all your ingredients measured out and in a large bowl begin to mix them all together.  You may have to add more water, sugar, pancake mix, or and of the ingredients really.  Once you have everything mixed together and it is a nice consistency proceed to step eight.

Eighth – Take out every form of pot and pan you own, come to the conclusion that baking cookies in a pot is not going to work and you own no pans, then go borrow one from your neighbor.  Take a stick of butter and smear it around the pan so that the cookies will not stick, then prepare to drop the cookie dough onto the pan. 

Ninth – Decide not to make cookies because that is way too main stream, and just dump all the batter into the pan and evenly distribute it. 

Tenth – Put Nutella on one third of the pan and chocolate chips on the other third.  Leave one third plain.

Eleventh -  Attempt to put the pan in the oven only to realize it does not fit.  Then try the other way and realize it fits even less that way.  Then sprint over to your neighbor and try their oven only to come to the same crushing realization.  After you get over the sadness realize you still have one more neighbor and rush over there.  Run into their house and try their oven.  Third times the charm because the pan fits there.  Set the oven to 375 degrees, put the pan in, and go watch Dodgeball for twenty minutes while the cookies bake.

Twelve – Take the pan out of the oven and admire your golden brown pancake cookie concoction.  Share it with your neighbors first because you did use their oven and to make sure it is not poisonous.  Then cut come for your self and enjoy.  

After you have completed all of the steps you will be a master at making cookies at Keeners when you have no cookie making ingredients!  Have fun!