How to win eternal glory (red ribbon) - Jacob Fulford

Now I know many of you who are reading this blog don’t know what the red ribbon is, so let me fill you in. At keeners you win different colored ribbons for different achievements. Gold ribbon for winning competition Friday, blue ribbon for best blog, green ribbon for best speech, pink ribbon for winning race day and red ribbon for winning Big Water Beat Down Thursday. Ribbons mark accomplishments that you can then attach to your gear to show off to everyone one the river.

Now that you are somewhat filled in I can elaborate on the more important part, HOW TO WIN ENTERNAL GLORY!!!!!!!!!!

Step #1: find something that intimidates you and then throw your self into it

What intimidates you will probably be different from what intimidates someone else. But if you want the get the red ribbon you have throw your self into the burliest biggest badest hole.

Step #2: keep moving.

When you’re in the hole you have to keep moving, keep paddling to stay in the center and try not to drift off the sides to much. If you find that you’ve been upright and in control for to long, it’s a good idea to throw in a couple up stream braces to initiate some tumbling

Step #3: You MUST want it

To have a fighting chance at winning the red ribbon or having a honourable mention you must want it, you have to eat, sleep and breath getting trashed. You have to paddle back into the hole no matter what.

Now if you follow these 3 easy steps you could be like me next Thursday.

Optional Qualifications that help:

Be able to hold your breath for an absurd amount of time (last year I broke a keener record with 1m47s)

Own hand paddles (they add style points while giving you a tad bit more control)

Get hit by a raft (I'm semi seriously but really don’t they hurt a lot(you didn’t hear it from me))

Get someone to record it (having it on video will then make it official and then people will know forsure that your deserving the ribbon)

THINGS TO NOT DO:

Swim – swimming highly reduces your chance at winning a red ribbon, if you feel out of breath just push threw until your back up right then surf/spin out

Be in control – yes being in control is generally a good thing with your in a gnarly hole but on Thursday’s it wont help you at all you want the get thrashed and be out of control while staying in the hole, it really an art in my opinion, getting a good beat down is rather majestic and rare, like a unicorn

Now if you’ve read this far down I must say thank you and I hope that my blog has been helpful. And if you are doubting what I’ve said I should let you know I'm a two time red ribbon winner and these steps have been proven to work