How to (Successfully) Fail at Getting out of your Boat in Hard Places by Callan Fox

First step: Mess up the first day of “getting out in hard places” by putting your paddle in the wrong spot and then letting it fall. Then, frantically try to get your paddle back on the rock while standing up in your kayak. Lastly, stand up out of your boat and flip over, fall into the water, and swamp your boat. Second step: Go to Iron Ring, where last time (at much higher water) you had to be pulled out in the Room of Doom because you got stuck in it. Third step: Run Iron Ring without flipping, but miss the Room of Doom (where you were told to go to practice getting out of your boat). Proceed to ferry across the wave hole to get back to the eddy. Fourth step: Attempt to get out of your boat in many different places on the rock, unsuccessfully. Eventually find a spot that looks good, and get your paddle onto shore. Stand up and try to climb out of your boat. Fifth step: Flip over in your boat while trying to get out and swamp your boat for the second time in this activity. Contemplate whether it is even worth tying to finish, but decide it is. Sixth step: Yank your boat on shore as hard as you can, but lose your footing and slide in the water. Get back on shore for better footing. Seventh Step: Use your legs to pull your fully-swamped boat as hard as you possibly can, and eventually get it on the rock!