How Flatwater Can Help with Whitewater and Why You Should do it! - Ethan Frangenberg

   



     Have you have ever had those moments when you try to learn a move in whitewater, but you cannot seem to get the basics down? Have you ever been throwing moves on a feature and found that you tire quickly and maybe tumble? Enter flatwater, your new friend. Flatwater, unlike whitewater, does not help you through moves, or make them easier and therefore mask imperfections. In other words, practicing flatwater will make you a kayaking BEAST. However, despite this, there are people who abstain completely from practicing flatwater, and when confronted, they come up with the ingenious and creative excuse of saying (whining) "It's too haaard!"Consequently, their boating reflects their decision quite sorely. So, if you want to be a kayak beast, the simple equation of BEAST=time kayaking+(flatwater)^10 will get you started.

       Ways that flatwater will improve your boating include:


     1) Core strength- Because flatwater has no current or aeration, throwing the boat around at your own will (unless you sink your boat or are a zombie) will be harder and will tax your muscles more. This, combined with bacon and having a Narguana (Narwhal+Iguana) as your spirit animal, will strengthen your core. However, be sure to do core stretches, such as the upward dog yoga pose, to keep your core flexible and intact, and not painful every time you lean back.

     2) Endurance- When your core gets stronger, it has to do relatively less work than it did before, and therefore you can throw longer. Another thing that will help with this in flatwater is doing at the least lean cleans in both directions for 30-120 seconds each, and if you can, do flatwater cartwheels, single and double pumps, and 3 to 5+ move combos for more experienced kayak beasts.

     3)Snappiness and crispness- If you choose the path of the flatwater, which I promote, (translation: if you don't choose this path you will suffer a "painful and horrible death," as Anna says it) then you will find your moves to be snappier, as your body has more strength to throw hard. For Example, by practicing flatwater cartwheels, when you go back to whitewater they will be crisper, because you are not relying on the water much, therefore the water gives you the whitewater equivalent of a nitro boost, making it snappy and very attractive to judges and/or future partners (unless they already hate you).


      4) Forgiveness- Unlike keener coaches whenever you have dropped f-bombs, s-bombs, or aerosol bombs (YAKISTAN!!!!!!!!), flatwater is very forgiving. For Example, if your cartwheels are not straight, they will go through on flatwater, but not in a hole. This opens up the opportunity to get a third end, instead of crashing and most likely swimming (#beater4eternity). However, it also works the other way. Flatwater unmasks errors that are super tiny but critical. This is important, and also the reason flatwater is no longer a viral sensation. In other words, it makes your loops that only work in a hole look like a drunk person who fell asleep while standing, then fell over. To be completely honest, there really is no difference. At most it is subtle. But, when you get your little mistakes out, everything will be so much easier and smoother.

Goodbye. Go do flatwater.