Air Conditioning is a Human Right by Wil Scouten

Although Keeners is an amazing and wonderful program, there are many kinds of suffering experienced within it. Many cases can be seen in the form of poison ivy, foot rot, ear infections, etc. However, the worst of the worst, the most awful, terrible, heinous thing that can happen, without a doubt, is sleeping in a wet, warm, sweaty bed. As people, we are all entitled to various basic human rights: food, water, free speech, and, in my personal opinion, air conditioning. Which is something that Robertson’s Cabin distinctly lacks. Some may argue that it enhances the experience of Keeners to sleep in inhumane, non-air-conditioned spaces, but I would beg to differ, seeing as YAKISTAN and WHITEHOUSE HAVE AIR CONDITIONING!!!! Why must we, the esteemed members of Robertsons, be subjected to needless suffering and loss of sleep, while our counterparts are enjoying a luxury experience? I would not even choose to subject my worst enemy to the suffering of laying awake for hours, tossing and turning, as sweat and humidity prove too much for even your multiple fans to combat. I would further suggest that air conditioning would triple our kayaking abilities, as it would lead to better sleep and higher levels of stoke. Air conditioning is a non-negotiable asset that Robertsons deserves. I rest my case, Your Honour. *Disclaimer from Keener Mom: Whitehouse and Yakistan do not have air conditioning*