A Normal Keener Weekend by Evan Bate

Over the weekend keeners get a couple options of what to do. Since you do not as a group on Saturday and Sunday, you have free time. If you do not already have a wilderness first aid you have to spend the first weekend taking that course. If you have taken the course previously, you may either rest and not paddle on the weekend or you can find a group to paddle down the river and you will get shuttled up to keenerville at the end. Last weekend, I did not have to do the wilderness first aid so I chose to paddle with a small group down the middle channel. We brought my turtle box speaker so we all could listen to music while we paddle. When we got finished with the run down the river we had extra time before the pickup so we played on the inflatables at wilderness tours. On Sunday I chose not to paddle so I relaxed and stayed in my hammock. Both nights on the weekend dinner is brought to keenerville.

Big Water Doesn't Get Old by Emery Slothower

I count myself lucky to have spent some part of my life in this part of the world. Coming from Colorado, I love the volume and the power of the volume of the Ottawa, something I don't get to see as much. I’m living in Keenerville for my 3rd time, sleeping in my 3rd bed, and running this river I’ve come to know so well for another 3 weeks. I felt like I’d gotten to know the Ins and Outs of the river and Keenerville alike, and I worried that the magic of the Ottawa would have worn off. But my first day back on the water, the truth became abundantly clear. Big water doesn’t get old. The overhead waves, the speed of water, the pitted faceshots, they scare and excite me in new ways. The Ottawa River is chaotic and beautiful and big enough to take your breath away every single time. Coliseum’s thunder reminds me how much power nature commands, and surfing Kahuna reminds me just how small I really am. What I find to be true in the Ottawa can be true anywhere. A repeated experience doesn't have to mean a boring one, and normal can be special if you're willing. As long as water is falling, beauty is close, and the significance it commands is obvious.

Air Conditioning is a Human Right by Wil Scouten

Although Keeners is an amazing and wonderful program, there are many kinds of suffering experienced within it. Many cases can be seen in the form of poison ivy, foot rot, ear infections, etc. However, the worst of the worst, the most awful, terrible, heinous thing that can happen, without a doubt, is sleeping in a wet, warm, sweaty bed. As people, we are all entitled to various basic human rights: food, water, free speech, and, in my personal opinion, air conditioning. Which is something that Robertson’s Cabin distinctly lacks. Some may argue that it enhances the experience of Keeners to sleep in inhumane, non-air-conditioned spaces, but I would beg to differ, seeing as YAKISTAN and WHITEHOUSE HAVE AIR CONDITIONING!!!! Why must we, the esteemed members of Robertsons, be subjected to needless suffering and loss of sleep, while our counterparts are enjoying a luxury experience? I would not even choose to subject my worst enemy to the suffering of laying awake for hours, tossing and turning, as sweat and humidity prove too much for even your multiple fans to combat. I would further suggest that air conditioning would triple our kayaking abilities, as it would lead to better sleep and higher levels of stoke. Air conditioning is a non-negotiable asset that Robertsons deserves. I rest my case, Your Honour. *Disclaimer from Keener Mom: Whitehouse and Yakistan do not have air conditioning*

My First Beatdown by Liv Howard

Beat down Thursday is a crazy take. Everyone has been saying it’s the best day of the week and this and that. But I assumed this was coming from them because they were really good. Or at least better than me. I woke up this morning (Thursday) and was terrified. I knew it would be safe, but that doesn’t really make you less scared. It’s all in your dome. I’m not very desensitized to big water day at this point in time, so I’d say the fear is valid. Especially since I’m not very good. After we swam McCoy’s we had to run it. I was peeing my pants. But I had to do it at some point so I went. I decided I was going to take a less beat down-able line. Sattlers chute was the play. I asked like 5 times where I was aiming for, however it all looked the same to me. So I just went left. As I went into the hole I saw nothing resembling a chute where I happened to wind up. I got yoinked. I don’t know what happened in there but I was getting beat. I couldn’t tell if I was breathing air or water. Eventually I got out and rolled up. I made it out. So really it wasn’t that bad. My take is that when they say it’s safe, it is. So don’t be a wus and just make yourself do it.

How to Survive Big Kahunaaaaaa!!!! by Cooper Dale

An all exclusive guide with an easy to follow, step by step system to barely make it out of Coliseum and Kahuna and ever so slightly miss dogs leg in just 10 steps!! Step 1: Firstly you’re going to sit on the rocks above Colosseum and wait for everyone else to paddle it so you can be sure that you don’t take the wrong line and fall into the White-Faced monster. Step 2: Now that you’re ready to paddle down, you can sit in the eddie some more until you absolutely have to go. Step 3: Okay now that you’ve begun paddling, you have to make sure you make it to the curler at the top of the shoot and then keep shooting right to avoid Kahoona. Step 4: Now that you hit the curler and realize you can not possibly make it to the right of Kahoona and you have to prepare for the worst. Step 5: You’re barreling towards the bottom of Kahoona and as you look up you can see the absolutely massive wave crashing on top of you. Step 6: You suddenly realize that you’ve made it through Kahoona with just a little bit of back surfing, you can now relax and have a great time. Step 7: BOOM! Second wave crashes down on you and gobbles you up. You now have to low brace until your tricep falls off and somehow manage to stay up. Step 8: You’ve successfully survived both of the big waves and now you can finally chill. When suddenly you somehow manage to flip upside down in the smallest little wave train ever. Step 9: You manage to roll up and think “oh no if I paddle anymore than I’m just gonna flip again” So you decide to just chill in the current until there’s a close eddie. Step 10: Now you’re barreling towards Dogs Leg and you think you have to paddle towards the eddie before you go down Dogs Leg. You just barely scrape by and make it into the eddie where you celebrate with Hiedi and Tyler about your survival of the all fearsome Colosseum!! Congratulations!!

How to Deal with a Traumatic Goldfish Death by Maddy Gerard

I had a goldfish named Flubbs. I had him for 9 years! I took him to Canada and all around the USA. A couple weeks ago I went on a trip. My sister boyfriend said that he would take care of Flubb’s while I was gone, but no… he killed him. First- find out the morning after Flubbs died because you dad did not want to deal with your sadness late at night. Second- start balling with tears when you sister takes the cloth off Flubbs tank just to find him belly up. Third-Flush him down the toilet. Fourth- try as hard as possible to get over the trauma so that you can be all happy and joyful for keeners! Flubbs, was my best friend. He made my room feel less empty. He was the fattest, happiest, and hungriest. Sadly he was over fed. We knew this day would come but not this way, not this time. Now I’m over Flubbs, I don’t need him to take me down for this awesome camp! It’s great knowing I don’t need to feed him, clean his tank, and pay for someone to watch him. So it’s nice without him, knowing he is swimming in the pools of heaven.

How to Learn About Keeners by Evan Cassidy

1st of all if you want to know about Keener’s, you have to have some interest or experience with kayaking if you have these and congratulations you are qualified. Next it helps to have family members or friends that have either done Keener’s or heard of it or just have interest in kayaking schools altogether. Next you do research on resources that might help you get better at kayaking and help you find people to kayak with. This step is very important because you wanna make sure you have a very fun people to kayak with for an optimal experience someone like Dan because he’s pretty chill. The next thing you will want to do is find and sign up for a kayaking school and then ship off to Canada or wherever else to go kayaking with people that are better than you. The next thing to do is go on a road trip to sad place and think about all the fun you will have kayaking. The next thing to do is find out that the camp you signed up for didn’t have enough submissions and they are putting you in a different program called Keener‘s. You think this is pretty weird but go along with it anyways as soon as you get there, you are called a keener and now you are one of them. Congratulations. You have learned what Keener’s is and have become one of them.

How Not to Swim in Little Trickle by Lucas Rodrigue

So I learn the hard way that swimming I little trickle can bring big consequences. First up if you flip over in little trickle you need to roll up fast or just because if not you will hit a lot of rock because it is shallow. So when you come to little trickle you have three main lines that are rather easy. The first line is that you go trough the curlers and keep paddling to the left and go trough the hole and the wave that’s on the right. The second line is that’s you lean into the curler and let the curlers bring you to the eddi. The 3rd line is that’s you go trough the curler and instead of paddling tho the left and aim between the hole and the left wave you just paddle right and go right in the Eddie. The last line is that your paddle trough the curler and try going right trough the hole but there is a chance that you get stuck in it.

How to Make Pasta the Keener Way (10 Steps) by Ian Seckington

So basically we decided we should make some pasta from scratch and by hand because obviously that would be super sick. Here’s how we did it Step 1: Put 2 cups ish of flour on a plate or in a bowl would work better but we used a plate Step 2: make a little well in the center of the flour Step 3: crack three eggs into the well Step 4: Slowly incorporate the eggs into the flour until it’s all mixed and you have a ball Step 4: flour and knead until it all sticks together and retracts when you smoosh it Step 5: Try to roll out strips of the dough but you don’t have a pasta press so you realize that won’t work by hand so you come up with a different strategy Step 6: Use this strategy of hand made pasta shapes (whatever shape they might be) and make a bunch of them Step 7: Boil some water (you actually probably should have started this before step 6) add a bit of salt to the water (this adds flavor)(maybe a tablespoon spoon or so) Step 8: put the pasta in the boiling water and LET… IT…COOOOOOOOOKK!! (Use a wooden spoon to stir every once in a while and try a piece of pasta) Step 9: once the pasta is cooked strain it in a colander and turn the stone off Step 10: butter it up and sprinkle some cheese on top *Disclaimer: we were totally winging it because keeners are fun people, recipes are for boring people *IMPORTANT: always use an Italian accent while cooking pasta, the mentality cooks, not you Thanks for making pasta with us. And if you read this and didn’t make pasta, what are you doing? Do you just read recipes for fun in your spare time. You don’t have that much time. Life is short. Go kayaking, make pasta. What are you doing just sitting there?

Why Staying Calm Can Save You in the End by Callan Fox

Today was the first Wednesday of Keeners, which, of course, means that it was race day. Although I have some experience kayak racing, it has always made me super nervous because of how exposing it is. At the end of the day, the only thing that you have to show for yourself are the mere numbers of your time. Not your spicy innovative line, not a cool trick you landed, not even a rocky beatdown you may have endured, although I definitely wished you did get some extra points for some of those things today. The last race of the day was our first, and only, individual race of the day, down Lower No Name. As I said before, I wanted to go fast. However, I was so busy freaking out about my exact speed that I couldn’t even commit to one line. What I really needed to do was to plan my exact route instead of micro-analyzing every little pro or con of each line, but I couldn’t manage to suppress my adrenaline and think clearly. Eventually, I rushed myself into going, not even knowing which line I was going to take- the safe option that I had done but might be slower, or the riskier option through the large holes that was unknown to me. Before I knew it, Heidi’s counting hit zero and my paddle blades quickly pulled me through the water. I was through the first feature, and made my way to tap the right shore to fulfill the requirement. Now was the time to choose where to go, except because I never made a decision before, I froze and didn’t. Where did I end up? Yep. Right in the big hole, Vampire, that my sole mission was to avoid. Yet, once in the hole, I did the one thing that I hadn’t done before. I stayed calm. I was then able to surf my way out very quickly, but was now faced with a second hole. Surfed again. There was no way that I could win this race now, after all, I got beatdown twice and it wasn’t even beatdown day yet. Once in the second hole, I took a deep breath and made my way out the left side again and saw Tyler and the rest of the Keeners who had gone. The end was in sight! I knew my time wouldn’t be my fastest, but at this point I was happiest that I got myself swiftly out of both holes. I didn’t give up and eventually made it to Tyler, where he told me my time. Everybody congratulated me, even though I didn’t even fully realize why. I couldn’t have been fast. But, it turned out that my time wasn’t so bad after all, and I ended up finishing second out of the girls with a small time gap. In the end, I realize that all of this could’ve been avoided with a bit more planning from the start, but readjusting that mindset in the middle of the rapid, by remaining calm and taking time to think, ended up being that factor that made me still feel like my run was successful.

Water, Water Everywhere, but I was too Lazy to Drink by Annika Vigoda

It is very important to drink water as you exercise, as I learned this week. What happens when you don’t drink enough water is your electrolyte balance in your muscles gets wrong. Electrolytes like sodium, potassium and magnesium are important for muscle function and if the balance is off your muscles may not contract and relax correctly which can lead to cramps. Another thing I learned this week is muscle cramps are very very painful and can come at most inconvenient times, for example when you are underwater and trying to roll back up in the middle of the race and you might be the reason your team came second. So in conclusion, you should drink more than half a Nalgene a day because believe it or not that is not enough to sustain 5/6 hours of kayaking a day. In my opinion, the best way to combat this is to eat 2 eggs in the morning and 4 eggs at night preferably after 9.30 pm. This probably increases your electrolytes or something and if you throw in a piece of bacon with every other egg it makes you thirsty and works wonders on dehydration. Disclaimer this is not valid medical advice if you couldn’t tell. Sent from my iPhone

A Keener's Guide to Freestyle Competition Preparation by Dan Meisenheimer

In kayaking, there are a lot of freestyle competitions. Many kayakers will find themselves at some point wanting to enter one of these competitions. Now that you have decided to enter a competition, you have to figure out how to prepare for it. Step 1 - Arrive at the site early. It of very important to arrive early as every feature is unique. You need to take time to paddle the feature before. Step 2 - Identify your range. Go through every trick you can do. Identify what tricks you get easily in that feature and which ones are harder. Step 3 - Dial inconsistent tricks Spend a few days making sure that any trick you want to do in competition is consistent. Pick a few specific tricks to work on. Step 4 - Begin putting together your ride. Put together a ride for competition. It should be divided into two to four distinct sections. Spend a few days practicing each distinct section as well as the transitions between them. Step 5 - Practice full rides Spend a day practicing your full planned ride. Congratulations! You are now ready to perform to four potential at any freestyle competition.

The Dunning-Kruger Effect By Andrew Slothower

In school, I have a music teacher named Mr. Adams, and despite his shortcomings as a teacher, he teaches about something known as the Dunning-Kruger effect. This effect states that there is a perception of how good you are at a task, such as kayaking, and how good you realistically are at said task. The misalignment of those two points is known as the Dunning-Kruger effect. When paddling, this can become an issue when doing something like paddling when you and your crew are dependent on you being confident in yourself and others being confident in your own abilities. Overconfidence without skill can be dangerous, especially in unpredictable environments like whitewater, where mistakes can have real consequences. It has been an important thing for me to overcome, especially in a whitewater situation. Especially as a keener, where there are so many people who depend on you to save them and be able to save yourself.

Advice for a Returning Keener by Evan Bate

This is my second year at keeners, I have learned a few things. First thing I realized is that some things will be different and you just have to roll with it. This year some of the rules we different and I had a new cabin. We also have a new “keener mom”. Some changes I did expect were the water level to be different and for the other keeners to be different. So far this year the water level is a few feet higher than last year. This means that many of the rapids are different than when I was here last. Also all but one of the keener were not in my last season, but they are still just as awesome as last year. It’s also helpful to know what to and what not to bring. This year I bought some extra snacks and I chose not to bring my drone. We have the same coaches as last year but one extra this year. So don’t expect everything to be the same and you will have a great time again.

How to Crush the Competition in Foosball by Blake Booth

1. Get a great teammate that will play amazing defense 2. Take the position of offense 3. Remember that the game starts before the ball hits the wood so get in there heads. This could include things such as. “You leach” “ you are a clown” and if the balls are on their side say "where are all the balls," showing that you did good the last round. 4. Serve the ball by spinning into the other teams goal, it doesn’t have to go in but get it to your teammate 5. Stay locked down in defense don’t let any balls get in your goal 6. Once you block a goal you will have the ball between the goalie and the two other score blockers 7. Pass the ball between them till you have a good shot with the goalie 8. Take the shot with the goalie and get bonus point making it be +2 9. After making the shot celebrate with your teammate keeping the moral high. Some examples are “let’s fricking go baby” “Stand on business” 10. Continue the game keeping the strategy and win the game 11. Stay ready for the next opponent

First Day Running Rapids on the Middle by Jackson Gratz

The rapids on the middle channel are super fun and can be really easy if you make them. Let’s break down the rapids you’ll do most often and what lines you can take. Little trickle: From the top start middle and look for the green hump on the left, after that punch through the curler and either book it left or turn and book it right. If you turn right you can just eddy out and continue. If you choose to turn left make sure to go just right of the red rock to clip the hole. (The hole is pretty sticky at higher but less at lower, it will probably flip you and might keep you so don’t try to punch it.) After the top it’s just a little fun chute, just remember to paddle. Angels kiss: Super easy, lean forward and paddle, barely a rapid but great surfing Butterfly: Also super easy and same as Angels kiss, lean forward and paddle, AMAZINGLY GOOD SURFING You won’t do Garvens on the first day so don’t worry about it Upper No Name: Big wave train, a good surfing hole on the top and a pretty sticky hole on the right near the bottom of the turn, just start middle and go left, easy. Lower no name: BIG wave train, not main sized but the biggest you’ll have on the middle, stay right-middle to avoid the river right hole on the top and then BOOK IT RIGHT to get right of Vampire, it is big, it is scary, and it will flip you, but going right avoids all that, JUST PADDLE. Alternatively you could go middle and book it left of Vampire, however this line is more difficult and has a much higher chance of flipping you. Overall, remember to have fun and try new things, the coaches are amazingly knowledgeable, helpful, and supportive, they have your backs if you swim so don’t worry about the big scary rapids.

Finding your People by Owen Forster

My name is Owen Forster I'm a 13 year old Whitewater kayaker from Colorado. Since I was 8, I've been trying to find friends that paddle and enjoy it just as much as me, but I just couldn't. They weren't in or around Colorado, so I started thinking I was the only one like myself, until I went to keeners. My first day at Keeners I was already seeing t-shirts that said what my t-shirt said. Seeing people just as stoked to get on the water as I was and I knew that I fit in here. Everyday when we woke up we were watching kayaking movies and so stoked to get on the water, talking about all the moves we were going to try and our favorite moves. Even though it's only my third day here I already feel like some of these people are my friends for life. Keeners brought me to my people and now I feel I have a place.

The Bricks that Make Up our Cabin by Dylan Dale

Do you like your eggs frozen? Today i walked into our cabin to make breakfast and went into the fridge and couldn’t find the eggs i was going to use, so i open the freezer and guess what was in front of me… The eggs so i grab them out of the freezer thinking Surely they didn’t think they are supposed be in there and they just set them down because they had full hands. I go and crack one open and it wont crack? Then another one of my cabin mates comes and cracks one open and its completely frozen. A few days later, we just got our food order and we have 3 new cartons of milk and we’re all like yes we can have cereal for breakfast and this should last us until next food order, but we were very wrong within 5 hours and to many glasses of milk and us telling each other we can have as much milk as we want because we will just get more we were out and had nothing for breakfast.

Quad Surfing Triple Nipple (attempted) by King Eyben

 It was day 2 of being at Keeners and Steven took some of the group down the main channel. For the first half of the day we were surfing Waikiki and practicing kick flips which was sick! Then we worked our way down to butchers block and practiced mystery moves before heading to surf Triple Nipple. 

When we got to Triple Nipple we got the run down from master Steven and he told us it would be the “smoothest wave you have ever surfed!” It was. Every time you thought you were flushing off the glassy part the ball of foam behind you would just catch you and you’d be fine. It was perfect for spins and blunts on the right side! When I hiked back up for my second lap Blake had come up with the great idea for a 4 person party surf and convinced Ian, Emery, and I to join him. Blake entered first then Ian surfed the top wave and dropped in and then it was my turn. I also caught the pre-wave then as I was dropping in I realized that Ian was right behind me but we both tried to move out of the way so I got hit by Ian’s bow and then rejected off the wave which was a bummer. Then Emery comes along and flushed himself and Blake then Ian pulled off and it felt anticlimactic but still kinda sick. 

After Triple Nipple we decided to surf Big Kahuna which was MASSIVE! We got 3 laps of Coliseum in and every one was crazy. Then we paddled back to WT and since we were early we got some free time. 

The End

How to Run the Main Channel Rapids at Medium Flow by Sam Gravel

 McCoys :

At the top there are 2 massive holes, Phil's and Sattler's. There's 3 main lines you could take to avoid these hazards. Either take the meat line through either Sattlers or Phils. Another option is to thread the needle, you can punch the end of Sattler's at the side and paddle hard to miss Phil's. Once the top section is complete you paddle straight down and follow the wave train.

The Lorne :

It's a simple rapid, you go straight down the large tongue in the middle of it and get hit by all the crashing off center waves. Once you reach the bottom there's multiple channels. Your best bet is the far right one which is just a large wave train.

Butcher's Knife : 

This rapid is mainly a large wave train that bends to the left. On the right wall there are very sharp rocks which are unpleasant to hit. To run this rapid you stay left of the central hole and away from the right shore. Follow the wave train down

Norman's: 

Norman's is a gorge-style wave train. There are a few holes on the right of it. Most of the rapid is a large diagonal wave train. To run it you start center-left, and drive right of center through boils.

Coliseum : 

Coliseum is usually the biggest rapid on the main with many features. Avoid the top left and right as there are many hazards such as : nasty pour overs, large holes, and rocks. In the middle-left there's a huge wave-hole called Big Kahuna. Many lines are possible. Either sneak left of the big Kahuna, punch it, or sneak right of it. Then follow the big wave train down and eddy out in either the right or left eddy.

Blacks :

Blacks is the final stretch before the take-out and just a simple wave train with a few hazardous rocks is at the bottom which divides it into 2 small channels. The smoothest liner is the right channel.

Cracked but not Broken: How I Repaired my Carbon Kayak by Coerte Crawford

 Hi, I’m Coerte, and I paddle an Apex Rebound kayak. It’s a great boat, light, fast, and responsive. But like all carbon fiber kayaks, it has one big downside: it can crack.

That’s exactly what happened after I ran a rapid the wrong way and hit a rock. The impact cracked my hull. It wasn’t fun. I was pretty upset, but I also had a repair kit/ and some determination.

So if you ever find yourself in the same situation, here’s how I fixed my carbon kayak and how you can too.

What you will need

A carbon fiber kayak repair kit (I have the apex repair kit, but you can purchase the items separately online)

 (Mine came with two types of carbon cloth—one for the base layer and one for the top layer)
Epoxy resin
Popsicle sticks (for mixing and spreading)
Scissors
A small paintbrush
Sandpaper
Find and Prep the Crack

The step by step guide

 Locate the crack and sand around the damaged area. This helps the epoxy bond better.

1. Cut Your Carbon Fiber Patches
   
    Cut the first piece of carbon cloth just big enough to cover the crack. Then cut a second, slightly larger piece to go over the first.

2. Apply the First Layer

 Mix your epoxy using the popsicle sticks. Apply a thin coat over the cracked area and press down the first carbon fiber patch. Smooth it out and brush more epoxy on top.

3. Let It Dry

 Allow the first layer to fully cure before moving on. Be patient—this part is important.

4. Sand and Add the Second Layer

 Once the first layer is dry, sand the edges smooth. Then apply the second patch over the first, making sure the first layer is fully covered. Brush on more epoxy.

5. Final Dry and Polish

 Let the final layer dry completely. Then sand and polish it until smooth and shiny.

Now I hope you can fix your boat, like I can with mine, and I hope you have an awesome time on the river. 

The Ultimate Keeners Test: Walk the Plank

 Imagine, it’s your third week of Keeners and you’re a returning Keener that has run the Ottawa river more times than you can count. To add onto this it’s a Monday and you have just finished running the biggest rapid on the river, Coliseum. There isn’t much left of the river and nothing nearly as large as Coli. Well you my friend would be mistaken, because the most difficult and decisive line is yet to come, if you dare take it. This line is none other than Walk the Plank, a line hidden at the ledge right after Coliseum around 8.25 on the gauge. In all seriousness, this line is an interesting one to say the least. To start it looks like a pretty normal ledge but the closer and closer you get you begin to realize the sheer scale of the drop. If your coach so happens to tell you that it’s a “rock slide” then you will probably assume something along the lines of 45-70 degrees of verticality. So, as mentioned, you slowly become more and more puzzled until you fall off the ledge. Approaching the drop, you will probably begin to notice the small bits of bubbly water at the bottom and then you will see the drop. Being around 5 feet tall, is far from the scariest thing on the river. However, the fact that it is an almost impossible thing to see will leave you. Like all other Keeners, screaming as you fall and brace with the hope of not dying. You will probably be contemplating your life choices and may even discover the meaning of life on the way down until you inevitably hit the bottom. After being scared for your life, you will find yourself in a very calm eddy with Steve-o looking at you with that same smile as if you just hit the biggest Phil’s surf of your life. To summarize, this experience is the ultimate Keeners test and will allow you to prove yourself as the most unafraid Keener of all time.

The Perfect Keener Pancakes - And the Life Lessons They Cook Up by Jaxon White

     There’s something deeply comforting about pancakes. Whether it’s a lazy keener weekend morning, or a last minute evening snack disguised as breakfast, pancakes will never let you down. But here’s the beautiful twist, pancakes aren’t just a stack of fluffy goodness— they’re surprisingly wise little teachers in disguise.

  Let’s start with the perfect recipe (in my opinion), then we will get to what keener pancakes can really teach us about life.

Ingredients 

• 1 ½ cups all-purpose flour
  
  
• 3 ½ teaspoons baking powder
  
  
• 1 teaspoon salt
  
  
• 1 tablespoon sugar
  
  
• 1 ¼ cups milk
  
  
• 1 egg
  
  
• 3 tablespoons melted butter
  
  
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract (optional, but magical)
  

Instructions

1. In a large bowl, mix together flour, baking powder, salt, and sugar.
   
   
2. In a separate bowl, mix the milk, egg, and melted butter (and vanilla if you’re feeling it).
   
   
3. Pour the wet ingredients into the dry and stir just until combined. Don’t overmix—it’s okay if it’s a little lumpy.
   
   
4. Heat a nonstick pan  over medium heat and lightly butter it up, or for keener purposes, our pans tend to be a little sticky so maybe put more butter than you think.
   
   
5. Pour about ¼ cup of batter for each pancake. When bubbles form on the surface and the edges look set, flip it.
   
   
6. Cook until golden brown on both sides. Stack, serve, and top with whatever makes your heart happy— maple syrup, NUTELLA, peanut butter, etc.

What pancakes can teach us about life

1. Dont Overmix Your Batter (Or Overthink Life).                                                                            The best pancakes come from a batter  that’s just mixed enough. If you stir it too much, they turn out tough and rubbery. Life’s like that too. Sometimes we get caught up overthinking, second-guessing every little thing. But peace comes from knowing when to stop mixing and just let it cook
2. Low And Slow Wins The Race.
   Too much heat and your pancakes will burn on the outside while staying raw inside. Rushing rarely works—whether you’re chasing a goal or trying to grow as a person. Real success takes steady heat over time
3. All keeners like their  pancakes a little different.   Some Keeners may like their pancakes extra fluffy while others may like them thin like crepes. Some may drown them in syrup or coat them in nutella. There’s no one right way to make or enjoy them. Life’s the same. Do what works best for you and let others do the same.  

Final Flip

Pancakes aren’t complicated. That's why keeners  love them. In their soft, golden rounds, they remind us to keep things simple, be patient, and to do what’s best for you in your life. 

So next time you're standing at the stove in your cabin, flipping pancakes, take a second to think about all you're actually learning.

And remember: life’s better with NUTELLA    

I Guess That's How the Cookie Crumbles by Jacob Zivony

A step by step tutorial on how to steal your cabins freshly baked cookies and say sorry by making them a new batch

Step 1: Go paddle on the middle channel and dont eat anything so you will be extra hungry for cookies when you get back. (Eating nothing is optional but it will help you be more hungry for cookies and you can take more when you get back)

Step 2: Come back from your long day of paddling and immediately go to the kitchen where you will find food for you to munch on. (You don’t know that there will be freshly baked cookies yet)

Step 3: Spot your cookies sitting on the fridge and run directly to them making a face of shock because you didn’t know there was gonna be cookies waiting for you.

Step 4: Get to the good part. Now that you have a plate of fresh cookies infront of you pick 2-5 cookies from the plate and take them from the plate.(You can eat them or save them for later)

Step 5: Wait until the rest of your cabin is back from their fun day at 7/8 hole and let them realize that their cookies that they spent so much time working on are gone. 

Step 6: Before all of your cabin mates dump you in the river, tell them you will make a new batch of cookies to replace the ones you ate.

Step 7: Wait until after dinner then make your batch of cookies while everyone else is still at the thunder-dome.(This way you will be able to surprise them when they get back.

Step 8: Mess up the cookies some how (I chose to use melted butter instead of softened this way all of the chocolate chips melt and you just have chocolate cookies instead of chocolate chip cookies)

Step 9: Leave the dough and go swimming 

Step 10: Find out that your cabin mates wanted cookies now and used your dough to make cookies 

Step 11: Be happy and enjoy your new batch of cookies and enjoy your cabin mates not wanting to throw you in the river

River Washed Hair by Helen Dillard

    So you just got off the river. You crushed some rapids, maybe got tumbled in Phil’s, and maybe even swam. You’re soaking wet and freezing cold and on top of that your hair is absolutely wrecked. What was once smooth, shiny, and neat is now a tangled, matted, river blasted mess.

So how do you fix this? And how do you do it within the 30mins you have to get ready for dinner. Here’s the best way to save your hair while kayaking and the path I took to find this out.

At first I tried to put it in braids and just brush it after. This worked, but not well. When you spend the whole day on the water the braids tend to crunch up and curl and become full on dread locks. This takes a lot of time to brush out so you have to finish it on the bus to dinner. But it kinda works.

The next thing I tried was a low rise bun. And surprisingly this worked much better. The bun has to be tight and against the back of your neck. And it does a great job of keeping your hair where it’s supposed to be, ish. But, it still got messy and tangled and it was a pain to brush out.

This is when I started discovering different strategies to brush your hair. You start by wetting your hair in the sink and lathering on so much conditioner. From here you can sit on the porch and brush it normally while getting your foot bath done at the same time. Or you can do my favourite tried and true method. 

For this method you lay your soap filled hair across the counter and begin brushing out the bottom of your hair. Keep brushing it out against the counter until it's mostly untangled. You then flip your hair back in the sink and brush out any remaining tangles and conditioner. All done <3.

Many Ways to Succeed by Eli Knights

 “Failure is the pathway to success”. This is one of the many inspirational things that our amazing coach, Stephen Wright, has told us. He also told us to fail spectacularly because by failing you learn how to succeed. This is one of the biggest ideas at Keeners and so we have a day entirely dedicated to failure, Big Water Beatdown Bacon Thursday. Over the course of the day we throw ourselves into massive water and try to get destroyed as spectacularly as possible. This may seem like a really good way to get hurt but it actually teaches you a lot. When you fail you then have to recover and look back and see why you failed. It's also kind of a competition and so it's a great way to connect with the other Keeners and you can look back and laugh at all of the horrendous battering you received. It also teaches you skills that you can use in the real world. Everyone fails all the time and you have to know how to own up to it and then fix your mistake and improve so that you don't make the same mistake again. These are all reasons why our awesome coaches throw us into these situations where we are destined to fail. Every single one of our failures leads us to being a winner, provides us something to laugh at, and creates connections that will last for a long time and around the world.

Running Rapids at Keeners by Jonathan Sanders

  Here at Keeners you will have the opportunity to run some very big rapids and push your limits because the river is as the instructors say, “freakishly safe”. I highly recommend taking advantage of this. This is one of few rivers where you can try literally anything you want and 99.9% of the time be perfectly safe. However, while the river is safe some of the rapids can be more than 3 times the size of the ones on your home run. This is a factor that can mess with our heads very easily. Staring at Phils or Coliseum for the first time can be quite an intimidating sight as some of the waves are the size of large suvs and school buses crashing with tons of force. Things like this make kayaking just as much a mental battle as it is a skill battle. It's important when running rapids to have 101% confidence in your abilities and always have at least 2 backup plans. I would also say that it is even more important to know your limits. There's nothing to prove. Most people value seeing a person who really enjoys being on the water rather than someone running stuff to build ego. My last bit of advice is on how to run these rapids.First keep calm and focus on the fun then, find the biggest hole, tee up boof and tuck, kiss your but goodbye, and finally roll up and spread the stoke. There is no such thing as failure, just success in not doing what was intended. There is not much better feeling than achieving what was thought to be impossible and that's what I love about kayaking.

My New Ottawa by Remi Brunson

    You drift down from the put in, and see three different channels leading into a loud roar with mist slowly floating up. On the left is Explosion, and on the right is Implosion, and dividing the two creeping through vines and branches is The Door to Gnarnia. You choose to take Implosion, and go to surf the triple crown, and receive a stout beatdown in each hole. The rapid living up to its name by imploding your skirt. Luckily you stay in your boat and continue down with a slight scare from the mighty Ottawa River. You paddle the flat water and choose to take the middle channel. As you reach the first horizon line you paddle into Evil Kenival instead of Water Slide, and lace the boof missing the evil eddy and all of the whirlpools. As you move on excitement creeps into you throat as you make your way to Nutella wave. The smoothest, butteriest wave on the Ottawa. You surf for a while getting some spins and a blunt or two. And talk with the wild assortment of people in the eddy. You decide you want a taller wave and make your way to caterpillar wave, which is always a blast. But you find your heart desires more. You can feel the power churning from the Fantastic Four downstream. So you go to the calling and view the four in their glory. From river left to right, Washing Machine, Window Wiper, Spatula, and Chimney. The grand Fantastic Four. You are feeling daring this day and decide after some scouting that you want to run Spatula. You pick your way down the barreling slide and lace the line next to the island. Gliding you way to Chihuahua, the next rapid. The Chihuahua wave is looking impeccable today and you surf beautifully for a good minute, enjoying the peace. But just around the corner is the carnage of Rabeez. Your arms are starting to become sluggish so you pick a more conservative line through Rabeez. You hit the corner of Dracula hole and get airborne. And you think to yourself what an awesome day you just had kayaking the Ottawa middle channel.

     After a good night's sleep, you are on the water again this time going down the main channel. You try your luck at the stout Implosion, and after lacing the thread the needle, you make it through with your deck still intact. A small scream of triumph escapes your mouth. And your mind races in excitement for the rapids to come in your day. You paddle the flat water grinding your teeth, wishing you had a jet attached to your kayak. But once you make it to the first rapid, Portal, it all seems worth it. You fly down the wave train, missing the bottomless pit to your left. You skip into X - te - te wave. And the foam back enders you. You swirl around under water in the crazy boils and currents. You manage to roll up, and a wave of fresh air rolls into your lungs. After surfing the wave for many laps you make your way to Whirlpool Canyon. You hit a beautiful macho move at the start of the rapid, and get to the swirly spot. You try to get into the eddy, and get whipped around in circles sucked into the depths of the river. You break the surface, a bit rattled and decide to move on not wanting to play around there more. But next is Theme Park. The most fun rapid ever. You surf every wave there is to surf. Gliding, bumping, and spinning your way down the rapid. And come out with a fat grin on your face. You then paddle down and hear the roar of Godzilla, the biggest rapid on the river. You paddle in, your heart racing, and make your line getting out of the way of Jaws wave. You yell, thrilled. You completed the renowned Ottawa River. And it was a blast.

How to Cope with the Death of a Paddle by Sofia Haro

    Coming into keeners you probably are well aware you’re going to get beatdown from hearing stories-insane Beatdown Thursdays, gnarly fables from the famed Phils Hole. You might even expect a skirt implosion or for the paddle to get snatched clean out of your hands 

    But what you might not expect… is the paddle to snap and die right in your hands. Which is terrifying, but here’s how to deal with it like a pro.

        Step 1- get out of your boat to scout Colosseum rapid with your group eyes bugging out of your head and mouth dropping at the sheer sight with one thought “I’m going to be the first keener fatality on Beatdown Thursday,” then get sent off to take your shot at it.

        Step 2- paddle down Colosseum and for reference, if you're trying to take the right sneak line, but it seems like kahuna just keeps getting closer and --bigger-- you probably are not far enough right. Which leads me to step 3

        Step 3- Get body checked by big kahuna and proceed to try and roll up at the peak of every wave and miss rolls until you get all the way down into the one spot you are NOT supposed to go-the rock ledge- at this point you’re still trying to roll cause no way are you swimming.

        Step 4- The paddle suddenly has no more tension in it you have a sneaking suspicion it just broke and you can’t even tell if you’re still holding onto it as you get dragged over the grating sound of what you can guess is the rock ledge so after all of this you pop your skirt and hold onto the upside down boat as you watch the rescue team come

        Step 5- Watch the faces drop of the two keeners who excitedly find your paddle and then are shocked to actually find two paddles, or rather paddle bits.

        Step 6- get in an eddy and explain what happened with sorrow but you don’t have to worry about hand paddling the rest of the main channel to the takeout because the other keeners will be really intrigued with your new “C1 Paddle” and keen to give you there paddle as they attempt to use your once beautiful 201 cm 45 degree feather bent shaft double diamond werner paddle you’ve had since you were a kid.

        Step 7- Grieve, the loss of a paddle can be hard and sad, but don’t worry, this step usually doesn’t last that long

        Step 8- Agree to have a lightsaber battle with the two halves of your paddle and proceed to take lots of pictures and poses with the whole camp to commemorate the loss, and also the cool new story piece

        Step 9- take all the jokes that will come your way for the entirety of the rest of your session. Game night? You’ll always make a feature. Renaming rapids for a speech night topic? “Paddle Breaker” was a no-brainer 

        So to conclude if you break your paddle at keeners it will feel like the end of the world, for maybe 10 minutes, afterward you will have the best inside joke with your session, the greatest motivation to get back out there and conquer the rapids, and overall and most importantly the coolest story to tell from the most wonderful 3 weeks of your life.

Cooking at Keeners by Cian Bergin

  Cooking in keeners is a unique experience. The keeners cook for themselves every morning and it is always interesting to see what will happen depending on who is the chef. I personally enjoy cooking a lot. For the first week I cooked for everyone but recently other people have decided to cook. James for instance is a great chef and makes great pancakes. Sometimes however the food doesn't come out right. Jonathan, for instance, made something new out of pancake mix. He made scrambled pancakes which was an entirely new experience for me. It was ok and did not kill me but since that instant we have taught him how to make an unscramble pancake. Sam has had the most interesting creation however and it was completely intentional. On the first day of keener we made bacon and eggs, a completely normal breakfast. However, Sam made the decision to make an English muffin and put nutella on it. These two separate creations are delicious and normal but he decided he would like to combine the two together. Making the first nutella and eggs breakfast sandwich I have ever heard of. The even better part is that Sofia recreated this in a different way the same day without hearing about Sam’s. She just put nutella on eggs and no sandwich which sounds way worse.

Cian Bergin