Ballin on a budget(nutritional edition) by Ben Giersch

Ballin on a budget(nutritional edition)

If you are the average kayaker, you are always looking for an easy way to save a penny or two. Even if you are interested in ballin off the river, then you have clicked on the right link. Food is an essential part of basic human life. Maintaining the consistent use of each food group can be a challenge if shredding is the only thing on your mind. Luckily for you, the thinking has already been done for you. My name is Ben and I’m here to introduce you to my list of easy but “nutritional”, that allow you to BALL ON A BUDGET!!!
Remember, the cook must always eat last.

Pluggers
-1)So for this fantastic meal, you will need a few ingredients. You will need a sleeve of salami, some bagels, and a steady bucket of cream cheese depending on the family of paddlers you will be providing for.
-2) you are gonna start by taking a nice stout bagel and splitting it in two. You are then going to want to take a river knife or other utensil to scoop up a glob of the cream.
-3) then in a circular counter-clockwise motion, you are going to want to spread your cream cheese evenly throughout the entirety of one side of the bagel.
-4) next you will want to unsheathe your salami from its sleeve, however, you may keep the sleeve on for no added nutritional value. You will then want to make nice even thick slices of salami. You will place exactly three and only three slices on the bagel as to preserve the rest of the arm for others. Each slice should be equally distanced from one another and from the center of the bagel.
-5) finally you will want to place the naked half of your bagel on the lathered end and provide equal pressure on all sections of the bagel.
-6) you will then hand it to your best mate and start on the next plugger.

This particular meal excelled in many categories of efficiency. It is a fast meal to prepare, it takes minimal effort, and also allows the cook to distribute serving sizes as he or she pleases. While providing a fantastic source of protein, grains, and dairy, it also does exactly what it is named after. Pluggers are designed by fine engineers to allow a paddler to go long distances while being able to maintain calm and semi-steady bowels. Pretty much every component is genetically modified to expand and create a challenge for your digestive system. This food also provides a lot of calories as well as stored energy.

Breakfast burritos (protein in a sock)
-1) for this meal you will need a larger assortment of foods. You will need shredded beef (sausage), eggs, tortillas, rice, shredded cheese and finally a big old bag of tortillas for your exterior. You may also use vegetables, however, it is not often encouraged.
-2) you are then going to grab a large cup or container for beating your eggs, however, you may also use carton egg (pre-beat eggs). You will then beat your eggs in your container and then pour into your preheated pan. Then place your burner on a medium flame, for an even cook. One may also mix milk into your eggs, however, if almond milk is added to the mix then you have ruined your meal. Scientific studies show that you are not human if you put almond milk in your eggs.
-4) next you are going to heat up your sausage in a separate pan while also placing the stove on a medium flame setting. You may also slice up a sausage if it is not already ground up. Get that going on the pan and go back to your eggs.
-5) you are going to want to cook your eggs until it is no longer runny or of a liquid state. You are then going to want to scramble your eggs by taking a spatula and just mashing it up. Then cook your sausage until it begins to defrost or just become warm and sizzle. You want a nice crispy texture, but not too crispy.
-6) you are then going to get a large boiling pot to get your rice going. Fill the pot up with water and place the rice in. For this pot however you are encouraged to set the flame up a little higher. Again this is all depending on how much time you have and how many people you must serve.
-7) once your rice is soft and ready to go remove the pot from the stove. Wait for the water to cool down for as long as you prefer before draining the water for maximum safety. It is encouraged to use some caliber of strainer weather it is a metal mesh material or just a plain shirt.
-8) grab a limp tortilla, you do not want a stale tortilla. First, take your eggs and spread it in a line across the center of the tortilla. Then place some shredded cheese over the eggs. Then place your sausage on top of the cheese as to sandwich the cheese nicely between the eggs and sausage creating a melting sensation. Then place some more shredded cheese on top and let it melt. Finally pack it all together and enjoy.

You are left with a steady meal packed with loads of protein and calories, good essentials for on water energy. This meal, however, is not to be consumed at enormous rates every day as to avoid packing in that cholesterol. Now you can wake up in the morning to a mix of different textures and protein.