How to be a Beater (All of Which I have Successfully Completed): Sabra

• Boof on top of other people's boats because they were in your way and you didn't leave enough space before going down the rapid.
• Lose your paddle while emptying a fellow beater's boat. 
• Look downstream while surfing, flush out of the wave, then proceed to slap yourself in the face (a rule established by the coaches) because looking downstream is practically illegal. 
• Try to get beat down in Phil's hole multiple times, but instead just punch through it (the ultimate beater doesn't even have the ability to get beat down).
• Attempt to hit the splat rock but instead just smash your bow and flip. 
• Blame losing a race on another more capable member of your team on Race day Wednesday (sorry Lorenzo). 
• Portage up to McCoy's shoot then as you get to the stop look down and cringe, realizing you forgot your boat at the bottom of the rapid.
• Have your best ever ride on push button directly before your first competition ride, then epically fail with a whopping five points on your actual competition ride. 
• Try to jump into a pour over hole and fall face first and backwards while simultaneously smashing into some rocks and landing on top of another Keener. I still have no idea whose face got awfully familiar with my foot.

The absolute best way to become a beater is to have moderate skill, yet still be willing to try absolutely anything. I am officially a beater!